How To Communicate Across Generational Lines

We often despise what is most useful to us. What comes to mind, among several things, is how multiple generations view modes of communication, especially with each other. From time immemorial, youth and adults have chosen ways to communicate that confound the other. The nature of youth is to communicate with each other in ways that shut out adults. The nature of adults is to "teach those young folk to ‘communicate correctly' so that we can understand them" because surely, we adults know best. The reality is that each generation is exposed to different technologies and that which is common to one generation becomes obsolete to the next. Each generation adapts the communications technologies and modes under which they matured. That translates into these generations using the technologies and modes with which they are most comfortable.

Why should one generation change for the other? Why should one generation try to communicate in ways that are uncomfortable for themselves in order to accommodate the other generation for whom those very ways are "unnatural"? Why not make the others adjust in reverse?

Are these questions familiar to you? Are you the younger generation or the older one? With whom are you trying to communicate? Are you frustrated with the ineffectiveness of your communications? Is it you or is it "them"? Does it matter as long as communications remain ineffective? How can you adjust your communications so that others receive your messages more effectively? How can you "hear" others more effectively?

First and foremost, know that you can seldom change other people; you must take responsibility for yourself and make your own adjustments in attitude, knowledge, and actions.

Next, consider the current workplace and school environments. As of this writing it is the second decade of the 21st century. (Reference: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010s) The generation of people born after 1985 are in school, have graduated, are in the workplace, and are advancing to leadership positions. This generation was born into a world of portable computing and communications made available to "every household". Portable communications consist of cell phones and portable (or personal) digital devices, laptop and tablet computers, instant text-based messaging, easy access to video and audio technology, and more. The "natural" modes of communication in their personal lives carry into their school and workplace environments. They communicate effectively with each other and wonder why they must adapt to generations for whom such communications modes are difficult to practice. Why adapt? After all, the rules change as the new normal takes over. The answer: because if you are of this generation, you must work for, learn from, get work done by, be hired and evaluated by, team with, serve, earn your living and profit from, volunteer with, and possibly care for people older than you who communicate using different modes and technologies from those with which you are comfortable.

The generation of people born prior to 1985 are currently well-established in the workplace or retired. They are decision-makers, owners, teachers and professors, executives, supervisors, presidents, parents and grandparents, and many other categories of "experienced". For the sake of this article, "this generation" includes people born into technologies from the telegraph to desktop personal computers. Communicating on paper, by telephone, and by e-mail are the comfortable modes for this generation. They either reject, or find difficult to regularly practice, methods of communication that are common for those born after 1985. Why adapt? After all, they were in the world first. The answer: because if you are of this generation, you must work for, learn from, get work done by, be hired and evaluated by, team with, serve, earn your living and profit from, volunteer with, and possibly still care for people younger than you who communicate using different modes and technologies from those with which you are comfortable.

Wait a minute! The answer to "Why adapt"? is the same for both generations. How can this be, and what do we do about it? The answer to the first part of the question is obvious as we look at multiple generations because there are multiple generations co-existing in school and in the workplace. The answer to the second part of the question is also obvious, yet difficult to accept and act on. The obvious part is that each generation must adapt to the other in order to communicate effectively with each other. Each needs the other in order to learn, live, and thrive. We achieve the difficult to accept and act on part by practicing the following five actions.

Identify the communications platform(s) most comfortable to your target audience and seek to understand why they are most comfortable with their platform. Did they grow up using the technology with which they are most comfortable? Are there physical considerations that facilitate their use of certain communications platforms?

Determine the purpose of your communication. Is it personal? Private? Do you need to broadcast your communications to the widest possible audience? Is a formal, professional mode required for the specific message? Is turn-around response time crucial to continued communication or further action? Can you use an alternative form of communication to accomplish the same objective? Your answers to these questions help you determine whether to communicate by texting or by telephone (or other platform).

Adjust your attitude from "I reject even considering a communications platform that is different from that with which I am most comfortable" to "I am open to considering—and learning to be competent with—alternative communications platforms". The platforms may be older technology or newer technology depending on your target audience.

Learn about and become competent with multiple communications platforms. The same advice may be said of languages in an international society. Note that competence and expertise are two different skill sets. Being a competent texter (person who can communicate via text messaging) is akin to being a competent keyboarder—you might be a hunt-and-peck typist using your index finger (or your thumb on a tiny smart phone keypad). You know how to use the device and can use it to communicate, yet you choose not to build your skill level to expertise status nor do you need to in order to communicate effectively.

Use the appropriate communications platform for the situation. When you need to reach someone immediately to receive an immediate response from them, are they most likely to have their cell phone "on" and available, or will you have a better chance of reaching them immediately by calling them on their land-line phone or instant-messaging them through their open e-mail account? When you communicate your job qualifications to a corporate decision-maker are you more likely to get positive results from texting an abbreviated message or sending a printed paper document by mail?

"I pray that this article empowers you to Get A L.I.F.E."

Why Hire A Life Coach

Whether we like it or not, everyone experiences a crossroad in his life. In fact, for some people, crossroads are constant in their lives. As such, while most people normally manage decision making well, others do not. On the other hand, there are also some people who can actually manage to make life changing decisions, but would just want to seek for a better perspective. Thus, when you feel the need for assistance in making decisions about certain transitions in your life, or if you are trying to find balance between your work and home life, you can always seek for the services of a life coach.

A life coach is actually a professional that helps you out with important issues and challenges in life. More than anything else, a life coach is simply someone who listens to your problems and challenges. For most people, hiring a life coach is to them having someone to listen to their problems without being judged and criticized. Indeed, this aspect of life coaching is really very helpful because most often than not, most people just actually want someone to listen to them.

Technically speaking, life coaching is basically about goal setting, career path assessment, enhancing leadership skills, and improving health and physical fitness. Moreover, it is also about anger management, coping up with grief and bereavement, and even overcoming eating disorders. The scope of life coaching is just so wide that it covers almost all the essential issues in a man's life.

As such, if there is ever a point in your life when you need to build self confidence and self esteem, you can always hire a life coach. Life coaches are equipped with the knowledge, skills, attitude, and techniques necessary in helping you gain your self confidence back. Moreover, if you feel that you are not happy with your job anymore and you need to get out of your workplace, you can hire a life coach to help you out in your decision.

Indeed, there are certainly a number of circumstances which calls for life coaching. In order to achieve successful life coaching though, it is very important that you recognize that there is a challenge that you are currently facing in your life. This challenge can be personal, business, family, career, or physical. For as long as you acknowledge that there is a pressing issue that you cannot manage on your own anymore, there is no reason why life coaching would not be successful.

Today, people are fortunate because there are a lot of life coaches that can be contacted for consultation and eventually, for services. Life coaching services offer free consultation. Thus, if you feel that there is something wrong in your life, or there is something that you need to do with your life, do not hesitate to contact me.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Reach Your Goals With Me

Have you ever felt that something is wrong with your life despite the perfect routine that you have? Moreover, have you experienced feeling that things could have been better than they are now?

These things are just but some of the common situations that a lot of people are in. In fact, many people with high paying jobs suddenly realize that they are not happy with their jobs anymore and want to do something else. However, changing careers is one of the hardest things to do, most especially if the career that you have is something that you had for most of your life. More than anything else, the greatest fear that you will have to face in shifting from one career to another is whether you are going to succeed in the new career or not. To make matters worse, most people who want to change careers do not even know what they really want to do at all. As such, when this happens, there is a great need to seek for professional help.

Life coaching is a process that helps you look at where you are now and where you would like to be in the future. It is inspiring, motivating, and life changing. More than anything else, life coaching encourages individuals to rise to their own particular challenges and reach their goals.

This may sound very simple, but life coaching actually involves a lot of hard work and commitment. Thus, if you are facing a challenge in your life right now, it is just about the right time that you get yourself a life coach. Moreover, if you feel that you are ready for change to take effect in your life, then you certainly should see a life coach.

On the other hand, life coaching should not be perceived as finding the solutions to your problems, but rather, encouraging individuals to take responsibility of their lives, challenges included. This means that individuals will be guided on making life changing situations. Furthermore, a life coach is actually just someone who will guide you on what you need to do, but everything is still up to you in the end.

Life coaching helps you reach your goals. A life coach helps you challenge the limiting assumptions and beliefs that you are holding. By conquering these limitations, you will surely be able to reach your goals. A life coach teaches you how to move forward toward your goals.

Therefore, if your low self esteem is stopping you from reaching your goals, try to gain back your self confidence with life coaching. If you need to contact a coach, do not hesitate to call me and set an appointment. Do not be stuck with any unresolved issue in your life, face your challenges and reach your goals with me today.


I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Life Coaching For Business Owners

Life coaching is actually a process of helping individuals reach their goals. Different people have different goals. While other people want to achieve a new lifestyle, others want to change careers. While goals vary depending on what certain people want to achieve in their lives, the main thrust of life coaching is making sure that these people achieve their goals. As such, this is a very effective measure in helping individuals find their direction in life, prepare for a new phase in life, set up a new business, and even recover from a loss and bereavement.

This is probably the reason why corporations and business owners are considering life coaching in their management strategies. It actually offers a number of benefits for business owners. First and foremost, it provides them with employees that have improved management and leadership skills. Since individuals are encouraged to go beyond their limitations and reach their goals, management and leadership skills are consequently improved.

Second, with life coaching, there is a greater career drive. Employees are now driven with renewed strength and energy, knowing that they can conquer any challenge that may come their way. Moreover, coaching also makes people realize their true direction in life. As such, when employees are made aware of the right direction for them to take, there is no stopping them. Consequently, this can be very advantageous for corporations, organizations, and business owners as well.

Third, when individuals realize their true potentials with coaching, productivity increases. Thus, this will consequently result to improved business operation and greater business opportunities. In addition, when individuals realize their potentials, they gain self confidence and high morale, which also yield to an increase in productivity.

Finally, business owners who encourage coaching culture in their businesses only show that they care for the welfare and well being of their staff. In return, they garner greater loyalty by the staff involved in the coaching itself, which will result into a reduction in staff turnover. In any business, a reduction in staff turnover is definitely one of the things that they strive to achieve. Thus, if life coaching produces these results, then it is truly beneficial for any business.

Today, there are a number of coaching services that especially caters to corporate and executive coaching. These life coaching services help different companies achieve their respective goals as well. Companies that have chosen life coaching as the primary approach to leadership and organizational development are actually experiencing outstanding benefits. In effect, life coaching does not only provide employees with the awareness their own values in responding to inevitable changes in workplace trends, but provides a well balanced working environment as well. And that is, an environment that mutually benefits employees and business owners.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Success

Success is when you feel at ease with yourself, when you earn enough doing a job you love to sleep well at nights, when your close relationships are great and you are a positive influence on those around you. When you can deal with adversity and plan for the future.

Success is also knowing that you are firing on all four cylinders, that you have achieved self-control, that you can make yourself do the things you need to do when you need to them.

A successful person is a great time manager, each day having a sense of purpose, each day having goals and structure whether that be for work or leisure.

Success isn’t all about money!

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

How To Kill Your Credit Score

Your credit score can range from 300 to 850 — the higher, the better. Most articles about credit scores focus on how you can improve your score to get approved for loans and get the best possible interest rates from lenders, but here, we're going to take the opposite approach and tell you how to achieve the worst credit score ever.

If any of these behaviors apply to you, watch out — you're in the process of doing some serious damage to your financial reputation.

1. Don't Pay Your Bills

The most important part of your credit score is your repayment history, so if you want to have terrible credit, don't pay your bills.

Did you get a bill in the mail from your credit card company today? Don't open it. Leave it in the envelope and throw it on top of the growing pile of paper on your dining room table. By refusing to pay even the minimum monthly payment, the repayment history on your credit report will look terrible, showing that you have bills you haven't paid for 90-plus days. Eventually, your account will go to collections, making your score plummet further.

Better yet, throw your unopened credit card bill in the trash. That way, a thief might be able to acquire enough information about you to steal your identity, leaving you with a gigantic financial mess to clean up and completely trashing your credit score.

While you're at it, don't open your monthly mortgage statement, either. Keep doing this month after month. Eventually, you'll lose your home to foreclosure. Between the unpaid mortgage and the credit card bills, you may even have to declare bankruptcy. Bankruptcies and foreclosures are a great way to ruin your credit not just in the short term, but for years to come.

2. Charge It!

The second most important factor of your credit score is how much you owe. So if you want to ruin your credit score, make sure to max out all of your credit cards. Better yet, try to spend past the limit! Then, don't pay the bill — ever. Let the interest and late fees rack up. Instead of keeping your credit card balances below 15-25% of your total available credit, as credit experts like Liz Pulliam Weston recommend, see if you can manage to owe $10,000 on a card with a $5,000 limit.

3. Apply, Apply, Apply

Ten percent of your credit score is based on how many new accounts you have applied for recently. So if you want to mar this component of your score, why not surf the web and see how many credit card applications you can fill out in a single day? Best of all, if you get approved, you'll have new tools to dig yourself into an even deeper financial hole.

4. Be a One-Trick Pony

Your credit score tends to be higher if you use a mix of different types of credit, such as credit cards, store accounts, an auto loan and a mortgage. Of course, to get approved for a mix of credit in the first place, you'd have to be responsible with your money. If you want to look bad, don't mix it up - stick with credit cards. These are one of the easiest types of credit to get.

5. Assume That It's Hopeless

Once you've thoroughly destroyed your credit, there's no sense in hoping that things could get better one day. After all, a bankruptcy can stay on your credit score for up to 10 years. So don't visit a nonprofit credit counseling service for help. Don't work out a budget to help you manage your money better. Don't cut up your credit cards or freeze them in blocks of ice. And don't take any baby steps toward paying off your debts. Just resign yourself to a life on the streets - it will be harder for your creditors to track you down if you don't have a job, an address or a phone number. Don't believe anyone who tells you that you can turn your situation around in a year or two if you're motivated enough.

What Won't Affect Your Score

While you're hard at work destroying your credit and ensuring that your life will one day revolve completely around clawing your way out of debt, please keep in mind that there are a few destructive behaviors that won't have any impact on your credit score.

Unless you do it so often that your bank sends your account to collections, overdrawing your checking account won't have any effect on your credit score (though it will be very expensive). Getting divorced, in and of itself, will not affect your credit score, so don't think that stepping out on your spouse will get you any closer to a 300. Losing your job won't directly impact your score, either, nor will receiving unemployment checks or signing up for food stamps.

Credit bureaus don't care if you're on public assistance, and they don't care if you have a job — they're only interested in whether and when you pay your bills, not how you derive the means to pay for them. But hey — why stop at just destroying your credit when you could destroy your entire life?

The Bottom Line

Please don't follow the funny way that I presented this article - I really don't want to see you ruin your finances, your relationships or your sanity.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Everything Has Its Place

I’ve always known that it’s best if important things have their own place; passports, tools and so on. What I’ve only recently realized is that really everything should have an exact place, I mean not just on a particular shelf but a precise spot on that shelf. It may seem rather boorish to be so clinical but the alternative is wasted time searching with complete frustration. You have probably wasted months of your life looking for keys, socks, flashlights, and documents. Even worse, you have probably abandoned projects or ventures simply because you couldn’t find vital elements of the project.

Can you pass the following test? Can you get up now and find your keys, wallet, camera, flashlight and passport with your eyes SHUT?

The other advantage of things having their own exact place is that you will realize much more quickly that an item has gone missing.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Get In The Flow

It sure is easy to recognize when you aren’t in the zone, but how to recognize when you are?


1) You open a letter, deal with it and file it all in one go.

2) You complete one of the “hard things” on your to-do list

3) You need a document that’s stored in the box, no problem you go off to get it.

4) You see a problem you fix it, your internal procrastinator doesn’t get a look in.

5) The more jobs you check off the more energized you feel.

6) Work doesn’t feel like work any more.

Definition of in the flow

1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one’s skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high.

2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).

3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.

4. Distorted sense of time, one’s subjective experience of time is altered.

5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).

6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).

7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.

8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.

9. A lack of awareness of bodily needs (to the extent that one can reach a point of great hunger or fatigue without realizing it)

10. People become absorbed in their activity, and focus of awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself, action awareness merging.

A person cannot force himself or herself to enter flow or even predict when he or she is going to enter flow. It just happens. A flow state can be entered while performing any activity, although it is most likely to occur when one is wholeheartedly performing a task or activity for intrinsic purposes.

Catch22:  I have to succeed at something to enter the zone, complete a difficult task, understand something inspirational, or find a remarkable solution.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

The 5 Minute Rule

When you are about to abandon a task because you’ve had enough or feel you aren’t getting anywhere or are just bored then try applying the “5 minute Rule”. Say to yourself I will stick at it for just 5 minutes more and then I can give up or take a break.

At the worst you get 5 minutes work done and at the best you will have found a second wind, got focused and become productive.

Remember the other 5 minute rule that we often want to give up a task after 5 minutes; 5 minutes into writing an essay or starting a run that’s the danger time before we’ve warmed to the task before we see any progress, you can use the five-minute rule to help you through this discouraging phase.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

How to Motivate Yourself

People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents. - Andrew Carnegie

If you want to excel in life, self motivation is essential. You must know how to motivate yourself. You must be able to keep your spirit high no matter how discouraging a situation is. That’s the only way to get the power you need to overcome difficulties. Those who are discouraged in difficult times are certain to lose even before the battle is over.

The question is: how do you motivate yourself? Here are several tips I’ve found to be effective to build self motivation:

1. Have a cause

I can’t think of a more powerful source of motivation than a cause you care about. Such cause can inspire you to give your best even in the face of difficulties. It can make you do seemingly impossible things.

While other causes could inspire you temporarily, a cause that matters to you can inspire you indefinitely. It’s a spring of motivation that will never dry. Whenever you think that you run out of motivation, you can always come to your cause to get a fresh dose of motivation.

2. Have a dream. A big dream.

Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be. - Karen Ravn

Your cause is a powerful source of motivation but it’s still abstract in nature. You need to make it concrete in the form of a dream. Imagine how the world will be in the future. Imagine how people will live and work.

Having a dream is important because it’s difficult to be motivated if you don’t have anything to shoot for. Just think about people who play basketball. Will they be motivated to play if there is no basket to aim at? I don’t think so. They need a goal. You need a goal. That’s what your dream is for.

But just having a dream is insufficient. Your dream must be big enough to inspire you. It must be realistic but challenging. It must stretch your ability beyond your comfort zone.

3. Be hungry

Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way. - Les Brown

To be truly motivated, you need to have hunger and not just desire. Having mere desire won’t take you through difficult times since you don’t want things badly enough. In many cases, hunger makes the difference between the best performers and the mediocre ones.

How can you have hunger? Your cause and your dream play a big role here. If you have a cause you care about and a big dream related to it, you should have the hunger inside of you. If you think that you are losing hunger, all you need to do is to connect again to your cause and dream. Let them inspire you and bring the hunger back.

4. Run your own race

I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself. - Mikhail Baryshnikov

Comparing yourself with others is an effective way to de-motivate yourself. Even if you start with enthusiasm, you will soon lose your energy when you compare yourself with others.

Don’t let that happen to you. You have your own race so how other people perform is irrelevant. Comparing yourself with others is like comparing the performance of a swimmer with a runner using the same time standard. They are different so how can you compare one with the other?

The only competitor you have is yourself. The only one you need to beat is you. Have you become the best you can be?

5. Take one more step

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. - Winston Churchill

When you meet obstacles along the way, there could be the tendency to quit. You may think that it’s too difficult to move on. You may think that your dream is impossible to achieve. But this is where you can see the difference between winners and losers. Though both of them face the same difficulties, there is one thing that makes the winners different: the courage to continue.

In difficult situations, just focus on taking one more step forward. Don’t think about how to complete the race. Don’t think about how many more obstacles are waiting for you. Just focus on taking the next step.

6. Let go of the past

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believe it or not, one of the best de-motivators is your past. Your past can drag you down before you realize it. Your past can give you a heavy burden on your shoulders.

The good news is it’s a burden you don’t have to carry. Take it off your shoulder and leave it. You might make mistakes in the past. You might disappoint others with what you did. But it’s over. It’s already in the past and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Today is a new day and you have the chance to start again. No matter how bad your past might be, you still have a bright future ahead waiting for you. Just don’t let the burden of the past stop you.

Apply these tips and motivate yourself. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Let your self motivation take you to excellence.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Macro vs. Micro

I would call the two perspectives macro and micro which also reflect two levels of productivity. The macro level aims to make our life as a whole productive. It sees productivity from higher altitude. On the other hand, the micro level aims to make one day productive.

If we focus only on the micro level, then we may feel productive in our days only to find that we have done the wrong things at the end. On the other hand, if we focus only on the macro level, we may have a clear direction for our life but not be able to accomplish much in a day. Only by having both of them can we do a lot in a day while at the same time be sure that we have done the right things.

The Macro Level

The essential productivity tip in the macro level is follow your purpose. In essence, following your purpose helps you ensure that you do the right things and do them with passion. Since you love doing it, you will be motivated to achieve more and therefore produce more.

Your life as a whole can be more productive this way. Besides giving you the direction and the motivation, following your purpose also helps you have a balanced life. Following our mind tends to make we focus more on one side (e.g. financial aspect) while ignoring the others, (e.g. relationships). But, if we follow our purpose, we will keep all aspects in balance.

The Micro Level

The essential productivity tip in the micro level is focus in uninterrupted block of time.

1. Block of time

First of all, if we want to accomplish much then we must allocate a long enough block of time. As its name implies, block of time means it must be continuous. It should not be spread throughout the day.

2. Uninterrupted

Second, the block of time must be uninterrupted. We should prevent interruption as much as we can. Close the door, unplug the Internet, turn off the cell phone, and tell your co-workers not to disturb you. Do whatever it takes to prevent interruptions.

3. Focus

Focus means we should do only one task at a time. If we try to multitask then we won’t get optimal results. We should focus on just one task, and move to other task only after we finish it.

These three conditions help us enter the state of flow, the state where we are so absorbed by the task that we no longer realize the passage of time. Like sun’s rays focused through magnifying glass can burn paper, mind focused in the state of flow can accomplish whatever task you face.

Conclusion

Combining these two tips will give you the best results. Make sure that you follow your purpose and do what matters to you. But then, make sure that you accomplish your tasks with focus in uninterrupted block of time. This way, you will have very productive days and very productive life.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

A Tip to Be Productive

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by a task or project? Perhaps you need to write a report that requires a lot of effort to prepare. Or you need to do something you don’t like that seems big and difficult.

In such situations, there are two responses you might take. The first one is procrastinating. Procrastinating is a way to temporarily relieve the pain associated with being overwhelmed. When you procrastinate, you choose to delay doing the task so that you don’t have to deal with it. The second response is doing the task despite being stressed. You still do what you need to do, but you have many things in your mind that drain your mental energy.

If you want to be more productive, you should focus exclusively on the next thing to do. Don’t think about what you did or what to do later. Just focus on the one thing that you need to do next. Doing this simplifies the situation since you don’t have many things in your mind. Instead of having your energy distracted by the past and the future, you focus your energy on the task that you need to do now.

What if you still feel overwhelmed? Then make it simpler. Break the task to even simpler tasks.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Recover Your New Year’s Resolutions

Statistically most people who start new year’s resolutions drop them by the third week. Regardless of whether it’s because they take on too much or go into them with good intentions but little knowledge of how to achieve them, people need not abandon their resolutions so easily at the first obstacle. Below are suggestions on how to turn things around and restart those resolutions.

Decide on just one resolution

It’s common practice for people to come up with a large collection of resolutions. Big mistake! You simply can’t give 100% commitment to your efforts if it is all spread out between a number of goals. Furthermore, as soon as you hit a rough patch with one resolution (and you surely will), the resulting drop in focus and motivation will have a knock-on effect on your other resolutions. So determine which resolution is most important to you and will make the largest difference to your life, then concentrate purely on that one.

Work out why you failed

Why did you drop your resolutions? What got in the way? There is no point starting up your efforts again if you don’t deal with the immediate obstacles in your way. It could be something as simple as having taken on too many goals (as discussed above), a lack of understanding of effective habit building practices, or it could be something much deeper. For instance, you may be trying to quit smoking yet you are surrounded by fellow smokers all day. Alternatively, you may want to lose weight but you still have a fridge full of burgers and chips.

Break down the resolution into small chunks

View your new year’s resolution with a different perspective. Consider it as a project and break it down into appropriate next actions. That way you will have a much more clear idea of what you are trying to achieve and by having the resolution broken down into manageable chunks you only need to take on as much as you can manage. Break the timescale down too. Just because it’s a new year’s resolution, doesn’t mean you have to think in yearly terms. If you have a resolution to regularly go to the gym, think about what a reasonable target would be weekly. For instance you could start off aiming to just go to the gym once a week and then when you are settled with that, expand to two days a week.

Accept that you will stumble along the way

Resolutions aren’t an all-or-nothing situation. However, because they are viewed as a once a year deal and get covered so often in the media around the holiday season, they can get built up in people’s heads leading to overly optimistic expectations. It’s important to be realistic about your resolutions and realize that you will come across hurdles along the way. Effective new year’s resolutions aren’t about trying to stay on the bike, it’s about climbing back on again after each fall.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

7 Ways to Defeat Procrastination

Many people have the classic problem of ‘thinking about being productive, but not putting it into action’.

Here are 7 habits to implement to counter the procrastination habit.

1. Process without exception: As things come into your life, we collect them and at some point make decisions about what to do with them. Here’s the problem: Often the decision itself is put off to be made at a later time. The Solution: Make it a habit to process your inbox or pending items completely. This would be processing your in-basket until it is empty. Give yourself a feeling of uneasiness when you see an inbox that isn’t empty. Even if you decide to do something later, decide. Don’t defer the decision.

2. Love your calendar: Many task-management systems depend strongly upon to-do lists of actions that need to get done “as soon as possible”. Here’s the problem: If you need to decide on the spot whether to surf blogs or finish that Excel spreadsheet, the decision will probably go the wrong direction. The solution: Take your tasks for the next day, or week (I plan on a 3-day-in-advance basis, or at least the night before) and put them in your calendar right away, setting aside the time to do them.This is a long-term solution, as you will learn how much time you really need for tasks (they totally didn’t match up for me in the beginning) and where your time gets spent. Quick Tip: Start collecting tasks you like to do – right now you’re reading a blog post, so collect that – “reading blogs”. Then set aside some time to do these as well.

3. Reward yourself: Sprouting from the previous habit, you should not only budget work into your calendar, but fun as well. Balance these out, and you’ll get a good overview of how you’re work-life-balance is going once you’ve entered them side-by-side. Here’s the problem: Time is limited, and we usually go straying off, losing our perception of time. The solution: Get a timer. You learn an incredbile amount of things about how time passes, how much time something requires and you’ll be surprised at how long (or short!) those “15 minutes of coffee break” actually are.

4. Clarify outcomes crystal-clearly: One thing people often do wrong when defining projects or setting goals is the clarification of outcomes. Projects should be defined as the best possible outcome for that project, and so a moment of thinking on your part is required. Here’s the problem: People often clarify outcomes, but not clearly enough. The solution: Use S.M.A.R.T. goals. Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. I don’t use many of these concepts, as they seem more of a hype, but this one makes a lot of sense to me and keeps me on track when defining outcomes.

5. Stay motivated: Unless you’re motivated to do something, you won’t. Rational people think about what utility an action brings to them. If you decide to watch LOST, the utility might be 42 minutes of thrilling entertainment. The problem: In the context of work and tasks, we often don’t see the utility of doing them. The solution: Just like clearly defining goals, we can clearly define our long-term goals, which will explain anything we’re doing today. If I have to write a term paper, my long-term utility of doing it well is a good career and an 8-figure income. Create incentives for yourself by picturing these long-term effects. Quick tip: Visualize! Putting these goals visually often helps to give yourself a motivational boost. Here’s the deal: This weekend, write a motivational mission statement for one of your life goals.

6. Eliminate the unnecessary: Often people suffer from anxiety because of too many tasks and areas of responsibility in their lives. Here’s the problem: We often don’t know what to eliminate, or we just can’t get rid of it. The solution: Rethink your life. While this may be asking a lot, sit back and think – do you really have to be president of every club? What’s it’s utility? If so, where else can you cut back?I think everyone should have around 5 areas of responsibility in life – God, family, friends, and two things that make you really unique. For me, it’s my ministry and career. Blogging is about to become one (that depends on you, reader!)

7. Have a super-simple system: I’ve experimented with a slew of tools to help me implement efficient task management, and finally ended up with a select few that I’ve been using for weeks now. Here’s the problem: I’m sure you’ve found yourself endlessly fiddling around with tools and blog ideas (just like this one) without ever settling for one system. The solution: I settled for the most simple system: A planner, mircrosoft outlook on my laptop, and outlook on my phone. The combination of the three keep me organized.

Those are just a few points where you can start remedying your procrastination habit. There’s a slew of problems that can cause task deferral, and I hope to have addressed a few here. Happy tasking!

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Dealing with Anxiety

Anxiety is a fact of life. Being part of our psychological makeup, this response is automatic when we are faced with situations threatening our sense of well-being. We can influence our response if we have sufficient awareness and discipline to counter its unhealthy effects.

Allowing anxiety to dominate our thoughts can result in stress and depression. Little do we know that most of the fears we cater are unfounded; our minds have taken the habit of conjuring a scenario wherein feared situations arise. Left uncontrolled, these fears will be incorporated into our reality, thus stifling our view of the truth. If we are to take control of our anxieties, we must stop feeding our thoughts with negative images. Instead, we should put our focus more on the clear facts surrounding us and deduce therein our real worries and concern. This will then reduce the gravity of our anxiety.

Still the question arises: How can we deal with anxiety?

To be honest, dealing with anxiety is not an easy task. Our makeup makes it hard to resist this automatic brain response. However, through practice and willingness, we can change our approach in dealing with anxiety.

First and foremost, we have to understand the nature of our fears. We need to find where it’s coming from and why are we experiencing such feelings. Without this understanding we cannot affect an appropriate response should anxiety dominate our thoughts. Gaining an understanding of the nature of our anxieties will bring forth clarity on our part. This important factor is the key to alter the influence of fear on our minds. Once we become aware of our anxieties we are able to allow our reason to intervene.

Validating the source of our anxieties will take time, discipline and persistence. Every time anxiety enters our thoughts it is imperative to enforce our intervention through awareness, then make some validations as to the reality of the objects of our anxieties. Once we deduce the truth from fiction we have to eliminate the lies by reprogramming our thinking; though it may be hard at first practice makes perfect.

In my experience I have been challenged by my worries. What I’ve learned though is that the huge percentage of all my worries is nothing more than the illusions of my mind. It took me time to realize how much time and energy I have wasted thinking of my senseless worries. Had I immediately weeded out the facts from lies, I could have made better decisions.

Before you drown yourself of anxieties, consider the following approaches:

•Ask yourself: What am I anxious about? Does my fear have any substance?
•Make an analysis of the situation and separate the real from the unreal.
•Focus on finding solution rather than brooding over worries.
•Use your common sense when dissecting the cause of your anxieties. (Most of us worry over stupid things).
•If senseless anxieties forces its way, counter it by engaging yourself on productive activities.
•Seek help when needed.

We don’t have to punish ourselves over our anxieties. The choice is always ours whether we confine ourselves to our self-made fear or seek understanding about the true nature of our worries. There’s a lot more to life than being anxious.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

5 Ways to Create a Positive Work Environment

We have all worked at places that we were less than excited to get up in the mornings and go to; this is an awful feeling. It is much more pleasurable, and less stressful to go to a work environment that is filled with positivity and enjoyment. A positive work environment is not only important for our physical, mental and emotional health, but is also important for the results that we produce for the company. The better we feel at work, the more likely we will take pride in our job activities and be loyal towards our place of employment.

So let’s look at some ways to create a positive working environment.

1. Accept the right position

The first step to creating a positive work environment is to secure a position that positively suits you. Before you accept a position, you should know what your key skills are; what type of work you want to do, what kind of role you would like, where you see yourself in five years, and what kind of environment you thrive in. Knowing the answers to these questions will help you to recognize those opportunities that meet those criteria, giving you a running start.

2. Be a positive person

Present an attitude of positivity and approachability. Show coworkers that you are available and wiling to help them. Walk around with a smile, and make eye contact with those you pass in the hallways. Be friendly, pleasant and nice. Talk with kindness, encouragement, civility, and respect. Ask questions before making assumptions. Be fun to work with. Listen to others with interest; and finally, don’t complain, whine or gossip.

3. Take responsibility

Take responsibility for the direction of your career. Ultimately you are responsible for creating an environment in which you can learn and grow. The longer you stay on a “dead-end” career path, the harder it will be to stay positive. If you are not happy with the current directions of your career, communicate that to your manager if you wish to stay with the company; otherwise, look for another job that you feel is a better match.

4. Communicate with your manager

Meet with your manager regularly to ensure you are on track for meeting his or her expectations, and your performance goals. Don’t always wait for your manager to reach out to you. Informing your manager about the status of the activities you are performing shows that you are credible, trustworthy, interested in the business, and committed to your job. You may even consider sending a weekly status report indicating what you are working on, what you have completed, and what you have pending.

5. Be social

Interact with your colleagues in a non-working way. Join a company team or group. Bring a few games in that you can play over your lunch break. Celebrate birthdays, and other special events. Cultivate working friendships. Organize a competitive sporting event. Organize a departmental pot luck lunch. There are so many things that you can do to connect with others while at work.

So, if you are wondering what a positive work environment looks like, here are some signs.

• You are doing a job that you enjoy

• Your ideas are valued

• Your creativity is encouraged

• You feel appreciated

• The job matches your skill set

• You have work friends that you can talk to

• Your manager is approachable

• There is room for you to grow

• You are recognized when you do good work

• You feel like a part of a team

• You look forward to coming to work

• You are respected

• You are happy while at work

• Work is fun

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Are You Living Another Person's Life?

I hope not.

How do you want to live your life? What goal do you want to achieve in life? 10 years from now, when you look back, what kind of life will you want to see? Even further, when you look back in your 70s or 80s, what kind of life would you like to see? Will that be a fulfilling life? Or will that be living someone else’s life without ever living yours?

Sadly, many people just live someone else’s life. It means that they live according to what other people say to them or expect of them. Year by year pass and they have no idea where they are going.

When we have clarity about our life, all decisions will be easier to make. We won’t live according to what the trends are or what everyone is doing. We will have firm foundation for every decision we make.

The earlier we get this clarity the better. Why? Because we can never get back the years which have passed. They are gone forever!

Learning about this, I started thinking about my life. I once thought that I may want to pursue an accounting career. Was that really good for me or was I just following the trend? I also thought that after graduating I wanted to work for a big company. But is that what my life should be? Well, I had to re-think those things.

I was afraid that 10 years from now I will look back and see that I have wasted years of my life living someone else’s life.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

14 Common Sense Ways to Live a Better Life

You’ve probably noticed that the market is saturated with self-help guides, audio books, and seminars by motivational speakers such as myself. This is simply proof that most people enjoy receiving advice from others.

Here are a few “tips” that I’ve discovered on my own, but most of them are common sense. I think if you do your best to take them to heart, you’ll start to notice a clearer head and a bigger smile on your face.

1. Wake up at a reasonable hour. Everyone’s schedule is different, so if you work the night shift, your “reasonable hour” may be noon, but it’s a good idea to wake up before you have to. Many people have the horrible habit of crawling out of bed ten minutes before they have to be out the door. You have no time to eat, and if anything goes wrong, you’re automatically late. Give yourself some time to gather your thoughts before you start your day.

2. Think of something that you have to look forward to. Once the alarm goes off and the initial confusion of “Ugh, it’s already morning!” has ended, think of something cool that you have going on in your life at the moment. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but it’s pretty helpful … and I’m sure you can think of something. Come on, anything! It can be as simple as, “Oh yeah! It’s Thursday, and that means it’s almost Friday! Weekend, here I come!”

3. Look in the mirror. I’ve seen plenty of people in the movies and on TV shows who look at themselves in the mirror each morning and say things like, “You’re awesome!” or “You can do it!” before they start their day. I know this sounds relatively insane, but it helps—and I speak from experience. If you can’t tell yourself that you’re good at something and actually believe it, why should you believe anyone else who says it?

4. Take a shower and get dressed. This may be a no-brainer, but spending five or ten minutes in the shower will help clear your head and make you feel a whole lot better. Hopefully you can even find clean clothes to wear. (You know, ones that were hanging in the closet as opposed to the ones that are still in the laundry basket on the floor, wrinkled and covered with dust).

5. Scan the news online, read the “real” newspaper for a few minutes, or tune into the news channel on TV for a few minutes. However you get your news is up to you, but it’s a good idea to stay on top of things that are going on in the world, even though lately most of the news makes everyone angry. You shouldn’t be ignorant about issues that may affect you personally, and you’ll want to have firsthand knowledge as to what’s happening in case someone asks you about it later or tries to force their opinions on you as “the truth.”

6. Eat breakfast. Eating breakfast is a biggie that a lot of people skip, (me included) so be sure to eat something. A container of yogurt, a banana, maybe a granola bar as you run out the door … just be sure to eat. You’ll need energy to get through the morning. A cup of coffee is not breakfast—even if it has chocolate syrup in it and whipped cream on top.

7. Make a to-do-list each day. I prefer the night before your day begins. This allows you to start your day already knowing what needs to be done. I am a youth pastor and operate a motivational speaking career, so it’s a huge benefit to know what I have going on each day. Even if you spend your days at the office, you’ll still want to have some kind of agenda to follow. Set up a schedule on your Blackberry or write things down on a legal pad, but do it somehow … or you’ll wind up forgetting something important.

8. Get to work safely. Again, I mainly work from home, but if you drive to work – or ride your bike to work, or take the bus or train – do it safely. This is also why it’s a good idea to wake up relatively early. Rushing leads to speeding and speeding leads to tickets or fender benders … which will make you even later than you were going to be in the first place.

9. Take a deep breath and count to 3 when something starts to bug you. Co-workers, clients, things that aren’t going as smoothly as possible … there are dozens of things that can easily start to drive you nuts at the drop of a hat. You don’t want to wind up getting so frustrated with someone or something that you wind up going postal, so close your eyes and take a deep breath as you mentally count to three before you say something you may regret. Most likely, whatever’s bugging you isn’t as bad as you think it is.

10. Periodically take a break … away from your desk! Be sure to walk away from your desk every few hours. You’ll wind up getting frustrated if you sit there staring at your monitor nonstop, and your eyes will start to hurt. Getting up for five or ten minutes every three or four hours will not blow your entire day, believe me. You also need to take a break and eat lunch. Sitting at your desk with a Snickers bar that you got from the vending machine doesn’t count.

11. Tie up as many loose ends as possible before the work day ends. We all know that some days you’ll wind up working later than expected, but don’t make it a habit or your boss (or you) will start to assume that you really do work twelve hours each day even though you get paid for eight. Get as many things done as possible each day, but try to leave on time. There’s always tomorrow.

12. Eat dinner. I had to stress the importance of eating breakfast and lunch, so of course I’m going to remind you to eat dinner! And if today is one of those days you wind up putting in some overtime, get up from your desk to eat dinner. A carton of Chinese take-out every night of the week will begin to affect your waistline and your mood. Try to eat dinner with other people, if possible. Everyone should have that interaction with family and friends.

13. Enjoy a hobby after work. Whether it’s taking a bike ride or a walk, watching a movie, reading a book, it’s a good idea to have some sort of hobby besides work! Spend an hour or two doing something that you enjoy to help get your mind off of work.

14. Unwind a bit before bed, and get ready to repeat the cycle tomorrow! Whether “unwinding” involves the above-mentioned hobby or something else, take time to chill out for a bit before hitting the sack. This will give you the ability to get a good night’s sleep, wake up, and do it all over again … and if this happens on Friday night, you probably don’t have to go to work tomorrow! Even better!

Yes, some of these fourteen tips might seem a bit common sense. The funny thing is they really work. I guarantee that implementing them into your daily routine will make you feel happier and more excited about the possibilities that each day brings!

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Giving Up Is Good

Persistence is important to achieve success, but giving up is also important. I’ve written about persistence before, so here I want to look at giving up.

Why is it essential? Why is it necessary to give up? Because it allows you to focus your energy on the few things that are truly important. By giving up, you:

1. Stop unfruitful efforts. What’s the point of spending your time and energy on something that doesn’t work? The more you spend your time and energy there, the more you waste your resources.

2. Avoid spreading yourself too thin. There are probably many things that you want to achieve. But you can’t achieve everything you want. Your resources are limited so you need to choose and prioritize. If you try to do too many things at once you will end up achieving nothing.

3. Reduce your stress. Pursuing too many things means giving yourself unnecessary pressure. Don’t let your ambition stop you from enjoying your life.

4. Free up time for your loved ones. Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time for your loved ones. By giving up, you ease your burden and free up time to build meaningful relationships.

In essence, here is what you need to do:

Give up the less important things so that you can focus and persist on the few important ones.

Here are several tips to help you apply it:

1. Find what matters to you

You need a way to know whether or not something is important. That’s why you need to find what matters to you. What makes you feel fulfilled? What gives you inner satisfaction? Be persistent on things that matter to you and give up the others.

2. Assess your life every now and then

Even if you already find what matters to you, the busyness of life can hinder it. As a result, you might get distracted by superficial things. So find time to reflect on your life every now and then. Look at how your life is going. Are you staying true to what your purpose is saying?

3. Learn to let go

You may know that you need to give up something, but it might not be easy to let it go. This is especially true if you already spend a lot of resources on it.

This is where the concept of spent costs is helpful. Don’t get caught in spent cost land. The fact that you’ve spent your resources on the wrong thing doesn’t justify spending even more resources on it. Those resources are already spent. Now you need to find the best way to spend the resources that are left.

The concept of opportunity costs may also be helpful. Holding on the wrong thing means losing better opportunities. The more resources you spend on it, the more opportunities you lose.

4. Refocus your effort

Once you’ve given up the less important things, renew your focus and effort on the few important ones. Now that you are focused, you have a chance to make a real difference.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

15 Nuggets to Fire Up Inspiration

The journey to success is long, and inspiration is the fuel that sustain you. It is the fire that lights you up and keeps you moving forward in the face of difficulties. It lifts you up when the situation looks dark, and it energizes you when you are tired.


No matter what happens, ignite your inspiration and keep the fire burning. Here are 15 nuggets to do that:

1. Find a cause that fires you up

You can only have long-lasting inspiration if you have a fire that burns within you. Without it, all your efforts to ignite inspiration will only give you short-term results.

So find a cause that you really care about, something that you are willing to put your heart and soul for. If you find it, you will have a strong source of inspiration that can sustain you for long term. I believe everyone has such fire, so find yours.

2. Dream a vision

If you have found the cause that fires you up, you should have a clear vision of how the future will be when the cause is fulfilled. Imagine how the life quality of many people will improve. Imagine how this world will become a better place. Can you see how people live at that time? Can you see the smiles on their faces? The more detail you can dream the future, the more it will energize you. The power of vision that comes from a burning cause is amazing.

3. Talk about your vision

Whenever I share my vision, I feel enthusiastic. Even if I have a bad day, I will soon be energized when I talk about my vision.

So share your vision to others. Let them know about your cause and your dream. Not only will you ignite your inspiration, you will also fire up the people you share it with.

4. Set huge goals

Vision deals with the long term, but you should also have goals for the short term. To be inspiring, the goals should be realistic but challenging. Set huge goals. If the goals are mediocre, they won’t energize you. Only if they are huge can they inspire you and those who hear you.

5. Put your written vision or goals in prominent place

Sometimes the busyness of life can make us forget about our burning cause and vision. That’s why it’s important to always remind ourselves about them. One effective way to do so is by writing them down and put them in prominent place. Put them on your desk, on your desktop wallpaper, or any other place you can easily see.

6. Remember your victories

It is easy to lose inspiration when we face many obstacles along the way. So it is important to remember not just how far we are from our goal but also how far we have walked. Remember your victories and let them remind you of what you can do. You have made a difference in the past, so there is no reason why you can’t make a difference in the future.

7. Create a "power station"

After spending your whole day working and facing difficulties, it will be uplifting to come to a place where you can be recharged. You could create a "power station", a place where you can come and recharge your inspiration. You can use your office space or a room at home, and put motivational posters, pictures of your past victories, pictures of your dreams, or anything else that energize you.

8. Memorize some quotes that resonate with you

Inspiring quotes are good to motivate and encourage you. By memorizing them, you will have them handy whenever you need them. The quotes do not have to be somebody else’s sayings. They can also be the words you get through your own reflections and experiences.

9. Speak out positive words

Rather than thinking about them, speaking out positive words often gives better results. In my experience, this is one of the fastest ways to turn a situation around. By speaking out positive words, you can quickly light the fire in you.

10. Listen to uplifting music

Do you have some songs that you know can energize you? You should put them in your music player, so that whenever you feel weary, you can listen to them and be lifted up.

11. Listen to motivational podcasts / audio program

Similarly, you may have some favorite podcasts or audio program that motivate you. Put them in your music player and listen to them whenever you need it.

12. Put up motivational images

Motivational images can feed you visually with positive input. You can set them as your desktop wallpapers, put them in your room, or place them on your desk.

13. Replace negative thoughts

Whenever negative thoughts start coming to your mind, don’t let them settle. Fight them back with the positive thoughts of your cause, vision, or values. If you leave them, they will take root and quench your fire.

14. Gather with inspirational friends

The truth is, no matter how hard you try, it’s often difficult to maintain inspiration when you are alone. It will be much easier if you gather with some inspirational friends. This way, when you are weary, their fire can ignite yours. In turn, when they are weary, your fire can ignite theirs. This way you will always have fresh fire transferred from your surrounding. The first step to do is to look around and find the people that can potentially do that.

15. Get rid of naysayers

While gathering around inspirational friends can energize you, gathering around naysayers will do the opposite: they will take away whatever positive energy you have. So avoid them at all costs. Of course, sometimes you need to reach out to them, but be sure that you energize them and not they take away your energy. You should always be open to constructive criticism, but avoid people who just make you down without giving constructive feedbacks.




I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

How To Recharge Your Life

There’s an interesting talk at by Stefan Sagmeister titled The Power of Time Off. In the talk, Sagmeister shared his experience of how he takes one full year off every seven years to recharge his creative life. During the sabbatical year, he closes his design company and doesn’t accept any design request. It might seem strange to take one full year for sabbatical, but he argued that it gives him more than what it costs.


There are at least three things he gets from his sabbatical years:

1. He gets fresh ideas for his creative work. Referring to one sabbatical year of his, he said that all the ideas in the following seven years came out from that one year.

2. It benefits him financially. Though he didn’t accept any request for one year, the improved quality of his work allowed him to ask for higher prices in the following years. He could eventually make more money than what he lost.

3. It made his work a calling again. This is my favorite of the three. In the talk, Sagmeister talked about three levels of work: job (when you do your work just for money), career (when you pursue advancement and promotion), and calling (when you do your work simply because it’s fulfilling). Even if your work is something you love to do, the daily routine could make it a job. Sagmeister said that taking a sabbatical year makes his work a calling again.

As you can see, these three things solve three common problems that many people have at work:

• Lack of creative ideas.

• Lack of financial improvement.

• Lack of purpose and fulfillment. This one affects not just your work, but also your life in general.

If you had any of these problems, here is a simple way to recharge your life: take time off. Of course, it doesn’t have to be one full year since most people (including me) can’t afford it without any serious consequences. But taking even short periods of time off is useful. Here’s what I suggest you to do:

1. Take time off every day. You should set aside time in your day where you can be away from your routine. Cut your communication with the outside world for a while. Use the time to get a sense of clarity of your life and work. Reconnect with your life purpose and look at the big picture of your life. Are you on the right track? Are you doing the right things? You can do this by meditating, praying, walking in the garden, or any way you like. The important thing is that you to reflect on your life with a clear mind. You don’t have to spend much time on it. Half an hour is enough, in my experience. Doing this helps you live your daily life with clarity.

2. Take a few days off every now and then. During that time, try not to do your routine that might introduce noise into your life. For me that means not connecting to the Internet. Though it’s not necessary, going out of town could be helpful. I can attest from personal experience that such time is really rewarding. I often see my life and work from a new perspective. I can see the forest rather than the trees. This, of course, will happen only if you spend time to reflect on your life and work.

It reminds me of the story of two woodcutters. One of them sawed down the trees all the time without ever sharpening his saw. The other person spent time to sharpen his saw and only then did he saw down the trees. Which one do you think would cut more trees at the end?

Don’t let the busyness of your life lead you to the wrong direction. Allocate time to reconnect with your purpose and calling. Allocate time to see the big picture of your life. Taking time off helps you stay sharp.


I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

How to Handle Negative Feedback

Have you ever received negative feedback before? Say, a friend or family member complaining about you. A boss or colleague critiquing your work. A partner or a spouse unhappy with something you did.


I run The Get A L.I.F.E. Show Video Blog. Every day, I receive feedback about the shows I do. While most of them are positive, there is the occasional negative feedback every now and then.

Admittedly, negative feedback can be tough to deal with sometimes. It’s much more encouraging to be receiving compliments than disagreements, because the former positively affirms that we’re on the right track, while the latter suggests we are doing something wrong. After years of dealing with feedback whether in school, work, or now running my own blog and business, I’ve become accustomed to getting negative feedback, but even then there’s the occasional feedback every now and then that would sting.

Yet, unless we are living in a world where we don’t have to interact with anyone, receiving negative feedback is part of our everyday life. People will always have different opinions, and they are entitled to hold their opinions and say what they want to say. The question then isn’t on how we can avoid negative feedback, but to learn to roll and deal with them. If you can learn to handle negative feedback effectively, it will be a crucial skill that will help us in our journey of growth.

Here are my personal 6 steps on how to deal with such feedback.

1. Pause first; Don’t react.

When receiving negative feedback, it’s natural to want to defend yourself immediately. Has there been a time when you received a negative criticism, and your first instinct is to say: “No, this isn’t true..” “You’re wrong..” “No, that’s because…“?

However, no matter how negative the comment was, you have a choice in your reaction. Reacting defensively tells more about you as a person than about the comment itself. Remaining calm and composed helps you deal with the feedback better. If you feel riled up, give yourself some time to cool down first before engaging further.

Whenever I get a negative feedback, I rarely ever respond immediately. If it’s a real-time conversation, I would always pause for a few seconds to process the feedback in my mind. If it’s a delayed communication, such as over email or a comment at my blog, I’ll leave it there for a couple of days while I let it sit in my mind. I found that when I read the same piece of feedback at different times, it conjures up different thoughts and emotions. Hence, referring back to the feedback at different times and studying the feelings help me to put things into context. Sometimes we may interpret a comment in a wrong manner and looking it at another time helps us to consider from a different perspective.

2. Understand what the person’s concerns are

Every feedback, whether negative or positive, comes from somewhere. Something you said or did made the person react this way. You can choose to ignore the feedback, but then you’ll never know what was it that triggered the person. This means there’s a possibility of this issue recurring in the future.

Use active listening and understand where he/she is coming from. Some questions to ask yourself include:

• What is he/she concerned about? What are the key issues?

• Why is he/she reacting this way?

• What did you do/say that triggered him/her?

Write down these answers so you can evaluate them in step 3.

Sometimes, the person giving the feedback may not be aware of the real areas of concern. He/she might just be saying ‘I don’t think this is done well’ or ‘I don’t like how you are doing this’, without supporting reasons. This doesn’t mean you should dismiss the feedback, because something did trigger it. It’s up to you to probe the person and discover what the actual reasons are.

I found a tip that really helps in understanding his/her concerns is to put yourself in the person’s shoes. Imagine you as the person and think about how he/she felt. This will make it easier to understand why he/she commented that way. Whenever I do that, it instantly becomes clear why the person said the things he/she said, and helped me to understand his/her concerns.

3. Assess if the feedback is true.

Evaluate the feedback objectively. Do you agree on the feedback? Is there any truth behind it, and would this be an alternate perspective you missed out originally? Is it something you should look into?

Sometimes it’s hard to maintain an objective stance, especially since you are right in the middle of this. I found it’s helpful to seek out friends to get alternate opinions. You can ask them: (a) Their overall assessment of the feedback (b) What they think are the areas of concern (c) If they saw any truth behind it. As your friends, they will be more than willing to listen and help evaluate. Besides, each of them will have his/her own unique perspective to add to the plate.

Often times when I get negative feedback, I would talk it over with some of my wife and good friends and process the feedback with them. We would objectively discuss and evaluate the things that could be work on. It becomes kind of like a mini-troubleshooting discussion, and it can be very enlightening. Having these alternative viewpoints helped to maintain the objectivity.

4. Reply to the person in kindness

Since the person took time to share his/her feedback with you, you should take time out to give a proper reply. Generally, I use the following flow for my replies:

• Reiterate his/her concerns, and confirm this with him/her so both of you are on the same page

• Let him/her know your point of view, whether you agree/disagree, along with supporting reasons why

• Create a open space for discussion

• Align/agree on the conclusions/next steps to move forward. Sometimes it’s possible that there can’t be an agreement met, and if that’s the case it’s about agreeing to disagree

• Thank him/her for sharing.

5. Recognize receiving negative feedback is a positive thing

Ultimately, I see negative feedback as positive, because it shows there are people who want you to become better. If the person didn’t care at all, he/she wouldn’t even have provided the feedback, would he/she?

Negative feedback also tells us our opportunities for growth. No matter where we are in life, all of us will have blind spots we don’t know about. These blind spots prevent us from reaching the next stage of growth. While negative feedback may not be pleasant to receive, they give us a different perspective to consider. By learning from more different perspectives, we can grow much faster.

If I look back, the times when I learned and grew the most were when I received negative feedback, not when I received positive feedback. How would things be if everyone around you simply praised and complimented you all the time? It would be nice at the beginning, but after a while you become oblivious on how you can improve. This doesn’t mean positive feedback doesn’t play a role – it helps to encourage and inspire us. Negative feedback has its own role to play too. It is when I receive criticisms about my work that I become more aware of things I was blind to before and how I can better improve next time. Especially when the negative feedback triggers some sort of emotional response, I know that means it has struck some chord inside me, and I would look inside to understand what’s making me feel that way. Often times that helps to trigger a new breakthrough in my personal growth, which I then proceed to share with my blog audience, which benefits many more people.

6. Learn from the feedback.

There’s always something to learn from every feedback. Ask yourself:

• What have I learned about myself?

• What have I learned about others?

• How can I improve? What can I do differently from now on?

Your learning can either be about the feedback, how you dealt with the feedback, or both. Whenever I get a negative feedback, I would process it and think about what I can learn from. I could ignore it, but then that means nothing came out of the experience. So far, I have learned new from almost every negative feedback I have received. Add this up over time, and that’s a lot of new things I have learned. No doubt, these have been critical in my personal journey of growth.

Conclusion

I hope my personal tips and learnings will be helpful to you in dealing with negative feedback. It may not be easy to handle negative feedback – but if you learn the art of dealing with it, it’ll go a long way in personal growth.


I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Steps for Making a Good First Impression

There is no denying the importance of making a good first impression. Regardless of the relationship – personal or professional – getting off on the right foot cannot be overemphasized. Knowing this is one thing, being able to do it is quite another. Even when I try my best, it seems as though various wardrobe malfunctions, something in my hair or the ever present toothpaste stain are always against me.

Wouldn’t it be great if we actually got to know someone before we judged them – but like it or not, the world doesn’t always work that way. Making sure that we put our best foot forward with our hair combed, zippers up, and our teeth brushed can only help. But to me, the real keys to making good first impressions lie a little deeper.

1. Get to Know the Real You

First and foremost, being able to make a good impression starts by knowing who you are. Who you really are, not who you think you have to be for the right job, the right school or the right person. I am sure that this seemingly simple, common sense idea is not exactly rocket science to most, but for most people, figuring this out takes time. For a large part of most people’s lives, they spend far too much time and energy trying to say or do the perfect thing in an attempt to impress the “right” crowd. Have you ever stopped to ask the question, is this really who I am? Or even, is this really what I want? The shift happened for me when I was 11 years of age, and thankfully I had great parents who taught me who I was, or maybe it was just not having enough energy to worry about what people thought all the time. Regardless of what caused it, I am grateful that I have finally reached a point in my life where I can appreciate my strengths, be okay with my weaknesses and try to improve on everything in between.

2. Don’t Try to Be Something You’re Not

This only happens when you do not recognize who you are. Instead of focusing on your purpose, or that which you were born to do, people choose to spend their entire life trying to fit into a pair of shoes that do not fit. This comes from the root of an overwhelming desire to be accepted! There are giftings and talents that each of us were born and equipped with, but the tools that we’ve been handed were customized and crafted especially for you. You cannot take your surgeon’s tools to the auto shop and fix a car with them. The moment that you are comfortable with operating in your own skin, the quicker success will fall on you. It is difficult enough becoming successful without the burden of doing it with another person’s car, and your keys!

3. Be Honest With Yourself

These are outstanding points if I do say so myself, however this information would be rendered useless without the ability to be honest with yourself. I have yet to meet the person who has a challenge with admitting all of the wonderful attributes, skills, and talents about themselves. It is our weak areas that we have disstain for. It is the vulnerable position of displaying to others are obvious and not so obvious caviots of inferiority. Honesty allows us to accurately assess our limitations to work on improvement, tighten up are strengths, and provide and atmosphere of contentment for the areas of our lives that you may have to accept.

4. Relax and Be Yourself

The best way to handle the stress and worry of “what will people think” is to do what you do best – and that’s being you. Many of you work incredibly hard trying to be what you think other people want you to be, what people would think was cool or good or perfect. Whenever I find myself in those situations, I focus on relaxing and being myself. Personally, I would rather be judged as the real me than someone else I was trying to be. I can’t cut grass, I do not tolerate lazy people. I would rather take a bullet than spend time with certain family members, and I am okay with that. At least now I know that regardless of what happens, as long as I am true to myself, things will work out for the best.

Worrying about making good first impressions is fairly universal. As I have started getting a little more comfortable with me, I have found it much easier to avoid situations where I know I am destined for failure. More and more, I spend most of my time just trying to be open and honest, so I can find situations where the real me fits in. Trying to be true to myself – knowing who I really am and what I really want – has helped me make much more positive first impressions.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

Dealing With Difficult People

We all meet ‘difficult’ people. ‘Difficult’ is a subjective term, of course: very few people are considered to be ‘difficult’ by everyone. But from our perspective, we will seem to connect well with some people and less well with others. From time to time, we are bound to come across people we find very difficult to get along with: people we find inflexible, unwilling to think in new ways, or to see things from our point of view.

When trying to deal with difficult people, it is helpful to be aware of a number of mistakes we might make and how to correct them.

Mistake: Assuming we are right

It is natural to believe we are right. Of course, we all think we are doing the right thing. People will justify their actions in all kinds of ways, and they might even come to believe that their past actions were wrong, but they will never admit that their intentions were less than correct at the time.

Alternative approach: seek first to understand

One of Stephen Covey’s famous ‘habits’ is seek first to understand and then be understood. This simply means trying genuinely to understand the other person’s perspective. What is motivating this person? Why is she behaving like this? We are often so ready to defend or push our own position that we don’t stop to think about other perspectives. Doing so can teach us a lot. Maybe we are wrong; maybe there is something we have not considered.

Sometimes, people we find difficult can reveal uncomfortable but important things about ourselves. ‘Difficult’ people can be our best teachers, if we have the humility and open mindedness to be taught.  In any case, understanding another person puts us in a much better position when it comes to dealing with the situation. We are more informed and any action we take is likely to be more effective.

Mistake: Having unrealistic expectations

William Glasser’s famous Choice theory is built around the core premise that it is impossible to change another person in any way. Even if you held a gun to someone’s head, they would not be compelled to do as you wished. We are all free to choose our own behavior, and this freedom implies that other people cannot be controlled. Of course, many people allow themselves to be influenced, and even manipulated, by others, but this is itself a choice to give away autonomy to some extent.  It is unrealistic to expect other people to dance to our tune. We can use coercion – if we have the power – to influence people, but this will be temporary and limited in effect.

Alternative approach: focusing on what we can change

Steven Covey’s first ‘habit’ is be proactive. This means focusing on what we can change. Covey calls this our ‘circle of influence,’ and this is where we should expend most of our energies. There is another, bigger, circle – the ‘circle of concern’ – containing things we have some interest in, but most of this is beyond our ability to influence. Other people are like the weather – predictable to some extent, but impossible to control. They may be in our ‘circle of concern,’ but they are well outside our ‘circle of influence.’

It is far better to focus on what we can change – ourselves. By shifting our perspective or adapting to the other person’s behavior, we are more likely to achieve success. An old college professor of mine often used water as an analogy – if flowing water comes across an obstacle, it doesn’t try to move the object but goes around instead. Better find an alternative route – this is the essence of being proactive.  It is important to say that the very idea of ‘dealing with difficult people’ is a bit misconceived. It’s not the ‘difficult people’ we need to deal with, but our own approach.

Mistake: Trying to win an argument

Don’t bother trying to bring someone around to your point of view by the force of an argument. People are not generally rational, and will not respond well to such logical, intellectual approaches. It might be possible to win an argument – if you have a superior ability to use logic or if you are more articulate or forceful in the way you express yourself, for example – but the other party will not thank you for beating them in such a way. In fact, winning an argument like this is more likely to make matters worse. Nobody wants to be beaten and to feel (intellectually) inferior.

Alternative approach: changing by example

When Khrushchev was making a speech denouncing the crimes of Stalin, a heckler shouted out ‘why didn’t you speak up when Stalin was still in power?’ Khrushchev shouted back at the crowd, ‘Who said that?’ Nobody replied, and so Khrushchev simply said, ‘Now you know why.’ A demonstration is much more effective than an argument. When dealing with a difficult person, don’t try to convince with argument – language is slippery and logic is not stable. Action will usually achieve far better results.

People used to say that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Being open minded, being flexible and not taking yourself and others too seriously are important attitudes in all areas of life, and no more so than when dealing with difficult people. A wise man once wrote, ‘Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it’ (Lao Tzu).

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

How to Make Someone Feel Good

Making someone feel good is a matter of being sensitive to one’s needs. Many pursue the common approach of knowing what the other wants in order to bring them happiness, but the truth however is that we don’t need to know what they want. Instead, we should be observant to the subtleties of their aspirations.

There are ways to know the things that can make someone feel good. But the first thing we need to do is to let go our own definition of feeling good. Let us always remember that people are different, what makes happiness for one may not be for the other. An effective method to know what can make someone feel good is to be sensitive to their concerns. If we truly care about knowing what would constitute happiness to a person it is wise to open our awareness to the things they treasure.

Still, we don’t have to look far to know what brings good feelings to a person. More often than not, a simple display of genuine concern is sufficient to brighten someone’s life.

Here are some of the simple yet effective ways of making someone feel good:

1. A simple touch of affection

Extending happiness can be as simple as a touch of affection. Have you felt what it’s like to be in the loving arms of the people you love? Don’t you feel good and assured by the caress of your special someone? I’m sure you do, especially when you are at your most vulnerable. Remember that touch has hidden power, and it’s one of the longings of every person.

2. Be appreciative

If you want to make someone feel good you have to learn to appreciate them more. Give credits to the accomplishments one makes—no matter how little—and give importance to the efforts they’ve made. People need to be appreciated one way or another, and by being generously appreciative, you are sure to extend happiness to someone.

3. Extend a helping hand

Helping someone proves to be the most noble form of bringing good feelings to someone. Nothing brings much greater delight to a person than finding a helping hand to aid him in his moments of need. All of us need a lending hand once in a while and we feel very good when someone gives themselves when we need it the most. Be alert for this opportunity if you want give someone a dose of happiness.

4. Make someone smile

Have you ever wondered why having a sense of humor is a plus factor for a person? Being with a person who is jolly, lighthearted and humorous illuminates our spirit. No matter how our day goes, when we’re in the company of a jovial character, it never fails to make us happy. Make an effort of putting a smile on someone’s face and you’ll never be forgotten.

5. Show kindness

It is said that kindness is the universal language of love. By being kind to someone we are expressing our concern for the other. Kindness makes us realize our connection with others; irrespective of any barriers, any show of kindness portrays an act of love. When someone shows us kindness it lifts our spirits and gives us an unexplainable feeling of gratitude. It makes us happy knowing that someone have made an effort to go out of their way just to extend their grace.

In conclusion, if you want to give the gift of happiness always remember to capitalize on the person’s emotion. Let us put more premiums on appreciating, loving, caring, respecting, and sensitivity to the people whom we want to extend happiness. Stop being deaf and blind to the obvious needs of others, learn to let go of yourself to clearly see the manifestation of someone’s longing, and from there we can figure out the most memorable gift we can give to make someone FEEL GOOD!

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."

The Power of Hitting Rock Bottom

Tony Robbins once said there are two things that motivate people to make dramatic changes in their lives: inspiration and desperation. As crazy as it might sound, there is actually tremendous power in hitting rock bottom or a low-point in your life. The last couple of years has been one of the dramatic positive changes for me because I overcame some tremendous challenges:


• I lost my house

• I lost my car

• My wife had major surgery

I had no choice, but to start making some major changes in my life. I was at a personal low point. The great thing however was there was nowhere to go but up. My motivational speaking career served as a great personal development tool to make changes in my life and continues to do so today:

• I have a promising career ahead of me

• I’m more financially responsible than I’ve ever been

• I have a great network of contacts/supporters

Let’s look at how you can use the power of hitting rock bottom to your advantage.

How To Take Advantage of Hitting Rock Bottom

• Re-frame the Situation: The first thing you will need to do if you have hit rock bottom is re-frame the situation. The key is viewing your current situation as an opportunity to take your life to a level far beyond where you are at today. I am actually starting to realize that my failures are actually just a part of the path to success.

• Nothing to Lose: The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that you truly have nothing to lose. When you hear stories of homeless people spending their time in libraries and filling their minds with knowledge to eventually become millionaires, it makes you realize that you have tremendous power to change your life if you can just tap into it. The beauty of having nothing to lose is that it gives you the power to be completely detached from outcomes, one of the biggest things that gets in the way of accomplishing goals.

• Big Risks/Big Goals: With absolutely nothing to lose, you are in the in perfect position to take big risks and set big goals. When you are not at rock bottom you can actually get caught in the trap of your comfort zone. When you are at a low point, then you have a tendency to really push the envelope of what’s possible. Many bloggers have been forced into the situation they are in (me included) because of other circumstances. The bi-product is that we now live a life that is far better than what we had originally imagined.

If you are at a low point in your life, I encourage you to give some thought to why this could be a defining moment that completely changes the trajectory of your life. If you’re asking yourself “why am I in this situation, this sucks?”, then you are setting yourself up for failure. You’re going to need to shift your focus and ask yourself the question “How can I use this opportunity to take my life to the next level?”. If you do that you’ll find that dramatic positive change is inevitable.

I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."