Your L.I.F.E. deserves Love, Inspiration, Fortitude, and an Emergency




Saturday, January 29, 2011

Bones, Muscles, and Joints

Every time you walk, settle into a chair, or hug your child, you're using your bones, muscles, and joints. Without these important body parts, we wouldn't be able to stand, walk, run, or even sit.

Bones and What They Do

From our head to our toes, bones provide support for our bodies and help form our shape. The skull protects the brain and forms the shape of our face. The spinal cord, a pathway for messages between the brain and the body, is protected by the backbone, or spinal column.

The ribs form a cage that shelters the heart, lungs, liver, and spleen, and the pelvis helps protect the bladder, intestines, and in women, the reproductive organs.

Although they're very light, bones are strong enough to support our entire weight.

The human skeleton has 206 bones, which begin to develop before birth. When the skeleton first forms, it is made of flexible cartilage, but within a few weeks it begins the process of ossification. Ossification is when the cartilage is replaced by hard deposits of calcium phosphate and stretchy collagen, the two main components of bone. It takes about 20 years for this process to be completed.

The bones of kids and young teens are smaller than those of adults and contain "growing zones" called growth plates. These plates consist of columns of multiplying cartilage cells that grow in length, and then change into hard, mineralized bone. These growth plates are easy to spot on an X-ray. Because girls mature at an earlier age than boys, their growth plates change into hard bone at an earlier age.

Growing Bones

Bone-building continues throughout life, as a body constantly renews and reshapes the bones' living tissue. Bone contains three types of cells: osteoblasts, which make new bone and help repair damage; osteocytes, which carry nutrients and waste products to and from blood vessels in the bone; and osteoclasts, which break down bone and help to sculpt and shape it.
Osteoclasts are very active in kids and teens, working on bone as it is remodeled during growth. They also play an important role in the repair of fractures.

Bones are made up of calcium, phosphorus, sodium, and other minerals, as well as the protein collagen. Calcium is needed to make bones hard, which allows them to support body weight. Bones also store calcium and release some into the bloodstream when it's needed by other parts of the body. The amounts of certain vitamins and minerals that you eat, especially vitamin D and calcium, directly affects how much calcium is stored in the bones.
The soft bone marrow inside many of the bones is where most of the blood cells are made. The bone marrow contains stem cells, which produce the body's red blood cells and platelets, and some types of white blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen to the body's tissues, and platelets help with blood clotting when someone has a cut or wound. White blood cells help the body fight infection.

Bones are made up of two types of bone:

1. Compact bone is the solid, hard, outside part of the bone. It looks like ivory and is extremely strong. Holes and channels run through it, carrying blood vessels and nerves from the periosteum, the bone's membrane covering, to its inner parts.

2. Cancellous bone, which looks like a sponge, is inside the compact bone. It is made up of a mesh-like network of tiny pieces of bone called trabeculae. The spaces in this network are filled with red marrow, found mainly at the ends of bones, and yellow marrow, which is mostly fat.
Bones are fastened to other bones by long, fibrous straps called ligaments. Cartilage, a flexible, rubbery substance in our joints, supports bones and protects them where they rub against each other.

Muscles and What They Do

Bones don't work alone — they need help from the muscles and joints. Muscles pull on the joints, allowing us to move. They also help your body perform other functions so you can grow and remain strong, such as chewing food and then moving it through the digestive system.

The human body has more than 650 muscles, which make up half of a person's body weight. They are connected to bones by tough, cord-like tissues called tendons, which allow the muscles to pull on bones. If you wiggle your fingers, you can see the tendons on the back of your hand move as they do their work.

Humans have three different kinds of muscle:

1. Skeletal muscle is attached to bone, mostly in the legs, arms, abdomen, chest, neck, and face. Skeletal muscles are called striated because they are made up of fibers that have horizontal stripes when viewed under a microscope. These muscles hold the skeleton together, give the body shape, and help it with everyday movements (known as voluntary muscles because you can control their movement). They can contract (shorten or tighten) quickly and powerfully, but they tire easily and have to rest between workouts.

2. Smooth, or involuntary, muscle is also made of fibers, but this type of muscle looks smooth, not striated. Generally, we can't consciously control our smooth muscles; rather, they're controlled by the nervous system automatically (which is why they're also called involuntary). Examples of smooth muscles are the walls of the stomach and intestines, which help break up food and move it through the digestive system. Smooth muscle is also found in the walls of blood vessels, where it squeezes the stream of blood flowing through the vessels to help maintain blood pressure. Smooth muscles take longer to contract than skeletal muscles do, but they can stay contracted for a long time because they don't tire easily.

3. Cardiac muscle is found in the heart. The walls of the heart's chambers are composed almost entirely of muscle fibers. Cardiac muscle is also an involuntary type of muscle. Its rhythmic, powerful contractions force blood out of the heart as it beats.

Our Nonstop Muscles

Even when we sit perfectly still, muscles throughout the body are constantly moving. Muscles enable the heart to beat, the chest to rise and fall during breathing, and blood vessels to help regulate the pressure and flow of blood through the body. When we smile and talk, muscles help us communicate, and when we exercise, they help us stay physically fit and healthy.

The movements your muscles make are coordinated and controlled by the brain and nervous system. The involuntary muscles are controlled by structures deep within the brain and the upper part of the spinal cord called the brain stem. The voluntary muscles are regulated by the parts of the brain known as the cerebral motor cortex and the cerebellum.

When you decide to move, the motor cortex sends an electrical signal through the spinal cord and peripheral nerves to the muscles, causing them to contract. The motor cortex on the right side of the brain controls the muscles on the left side of the body and vice versa.

The cerebellum coordinates the muscle movements ordered by the motor cortex. Sensors in the muscles and joints send messages back through peripheral nerves to tell the cerebellum and other parts of the brain where and how the arm or leg is moving and what position it's in. This feedback results in smooth, coordinated motion. If you want to lift your arm, your brain sends a message to the muscles in your arm and you move it. When you run, the messages to the brain are more involved, because many muscles have to work in rhythm.

Muscles move body parts by contracting and then relaxing. Muscles can pull bones, but they can't push them back to the original position. So they work in pairs of flexors and extensors. The flexor contracts to bend a limb at a joint. Then, when the movement is completed, the flexor relaxes and the extensor contracts to extend or straighten the limb at the same joint. For example, the biceps muscle, in the front of the upper arm, is a flexor, and the triceps, at the back of the upper arm, is an extensor. When you bend at your elbow, the biceps contracts. Then the biceps relaxes and the triceps contracts to straighten the elbow.

Joints and What They Do

Joints occur where two bones meet. They make the skeleton flexible — without them, movement would be impossible.

Joints allow our bodies to move in many ways. Some joints open and close like a hinge (such as knees and elbows), whereas others allow for more complicated movement — a shoulder or hip joint, for example, allows for backward, forward, sideways, and rotating movement.

Joints are classified by their range of movement. Immovable, or fibrous, joints don't move. The dome of the skull, for example, is made of bony plates, which must be immovable to protect the brain. Between the edges of these plates are links, or joints, of fibrous tissue. Fibrous joints also hold the teeth in the jawbone.

Partially movable, or cartilaginous, joints move a little. They are linked by cartilage, as in the spine. Each of the vertebrae in the spine moves in relation to the one above and below it, and together these movements give the spine its flexibility.

Freely movable, or synovial, joints move in many directions. The main joints of the body — found at the hip, shoulders, elbows, knees, wrists, and ankles — are freely movable. They are filled with synovial fluid, which acts as a lubricant to help the joints move easily.

Three kinds of freely movable joints play a big part in voluntary movement:

1. Hinge joints allow movement in one direction, as seen in the knees and elbows.

2. Pivot joints allow a rotating or twisting motion, like that of the head moving from side to side.

3. Ball-and-socket joints allow the greatest freedom of movement. The hips and shoulders have this type of joint, in which the round end of a long bone fits into the hollow of another bone.

Problems With the Bones, Muscles, and Joints

As strong as bones are, they can break. Muscles can weaken, and joints (as well as tendons, ligaments, and cartilage) can be damaged by injury or disease.

Problems that can affect the bones, muscles, and joints include:

Arthritis. Arthritis is the inflammation of a joint, and people who have it experience swelling, warmth, pain, and often have trouble moving. Although we often think of arthritis as a condition that affects only older people, arthritis can also occur in children and teens. Health problems that involve arthritis in kids and teens include juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA), lupus, Lyme disease, and septic arthritis (a bacterial infection of a joint).

Fracture. A fracture occurs when a bone breaks; it may crack, snap, or shatter. After a fracture, new bone cells fill the gap and repair the break. Applying a strong plaster cast, which keeps the bone in the correct position until it heals, is the usual treatment. If the fracture is complicated, metal pins and plates can be placed to better stabilize it while the bone heals.

Muscular dystrophy. Muscular dystrophy is an inherited group of diseases that affect the muscles, causing them to weaken and break down over time. The most common form in childhood is called Duchenne muscular dystrophy, and it most often affects boys.

Osgood-Schlatter disease (OSD). Osgood-Schlatter disease is an inflammation (pain and swelling) of the bone, cartilage, and/or tendon at the top of the shinbone, where the tendon from the kneecap attaches. OSD usually strikes active teens around the beginning of their growth spurts, the approximately 2-year period during which they grow most rapidly.

Osteomyelitis. Osteomyelitis is a bone infection often caused by Staphylococcus aureus bacteria, though other types of bacteria can cause it, too. In kids and teens, osteomyelitis usually affects the long bones of the arms and legs. Osteomyelitis often develops after an injury or trauma.

Osteoporosis. In osteoporosis, bone tissue becomes brittle, thin, and spongy. Bones break easily, and the spine sometimes begins to crumble and collapse. Although the condition usually affects older people, kids and teens with eating disorders can get the condition, as can girls with female athlete triad — a combination of three conditions that some girls who exercise or play sports may be at risk for: disordered eating, amenorrhea (loss of a girl's period), and osteoporosis. Participation in sports where a thin appearance is valued can put a girl at risk for female athlete triad.

Repetitive stress injuries (RSIs). RSIs are a group of injuries that happen when too much stress is placed on a part of the body, resulting in inflammation (pain and swelling), muscle strain, or tissue damage. This stress generally occurs from repeating the same movements over and over again. RSIs are becoming more common in kids and teens because they spend more time than ever using computers. Playing sports like tennis that involve repetitive motions can also lead to RSIs. Kids and teens who spend a lot of time playing musical instruments or video games are also at risk for RSIs.

Scoliosis. Every person's spine curves a little bit; a certain amount of curvature is necessary for people to move and walk properly. But 3-5 people out of 1,000 have scoliosis, which causes the spine to curve too much. It can be hereditary, so someone who has scoliosis often has family members who have it.

Strains and sprains. Strains occur when muscles or tendons are overstretched. Sprains are an overstretching or a partial tearing of the ligaments. Strains usually happen when a person takes part in a strenuous activity when the muscles haven't properly warmed up or the muscle is not used to the activity (such as a new sport or playing a familiar sport after a long break). Sprains, on the other hand, are usually the result of an injury, such as twisting an ankle or knee. A common sprain injury is a torn Achilles tendon, which connects the calf muscles to the heel. This tendon can snap, but it usually can be repaired by surgery. Both strains and sprains are common in kids and teens because they're active and still growing.

Tendinitis. This common sports injury that usually happens after overexercising a muscle. The tendon and tendon sheath become inflamed, which can be painful. Resting the muscles and taking anti-inflammatory medication can bring relief.

"I pray that this article empowers you to Get A L.I.F.E."

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Blood

Humans can't live without blood. Without blood, the body's organs couldn't get the oxygen and nutrients they need to survive; we couldn't keep warm or cool off, fight infections, or get rid of our own waste products. Without enough blood, we'd weaken and die.

Here are the basics about the mysterious, life-sustaining fluid called blood.

Blood Basics

Two types of blood vessels carry blood throughout our bodies:
1. Arteries carry oxygenated blood (blood that has received oxygen from the lungs) from the heart to the rest of the body.
2. Blood then travels through veins back to the heart and lungs, where it receives more oxygen.

As the heart beats, you can feel blood traveling through the body at pulse points — like the neck and the wrist — where large, blood-filled arteries run close to the surface of the skin.

The blood that flows through this network of veins and arteries is whole blood, which contains three types of blood cells:
1. red blood cells (RBCs)
2. white blood cells (WBCs)
3. platelets

In babies and young kids, blood cells are made within the bone marrow (the soft tissue inside of bones) of many bones throughout the body. But, as kids get older, blood cells are made mostly in the bone marrow of the vertebrae (the bones of the spine), ribs, pelvis, skull, sternum (the breastbone), and parts of the humerus (the upper arm bone) and femur (the thigh bone).

The cells travel through the circulatory system suspended in a yellowish fluid called plasma, which is 90% water and contains nutrients, proteins, hormones, and waste products. Whole blood is a mixture of blood cells and plasma.

Red Blood Cells

Red blood cells (also called erythrocytes) are shaped like slightly indented, flattened disks. RBCs contain the iron-rich protein hemoglobin. Blood gets its bright red color when hemoglobin picks up oxygen in the lungs. As the blood travels through the body, the hemoglobin releases oxygen to the tissues.

The body contains more RBCs than any other type of cell, and each has a life span of about 4 months. Each day, the body produces new RBCs to replace those that die or are lost from the body.

White Blood Cells

White blood cells (also called leukocytes) are a key part of the body's system for defending itself against infection. They can move in and out of the bloodstream to reach affected tissues. Blood contains far fewer WBCs than red blood cells, although the body can increase WBC production to fight infection. There are several types of WBCs, and their life spans vary from a few days to months. New cells are constantly being formed in the bone marrow.

Several different parts of blood are involved in fighting infection. White blood cells called granulocytes and lymphocytes travel along the walls of blood vessels. They fight germs such as bacteria and viruses and may also attempt to destroy cells that have become infected or have changed into cancer cells.

Certain types of WBCs produce antibodies, special proteins that recognize foreign materials and help the body destroy or neutralize them. The white cell count (the number of cells in a given amount of blood) in someone with an infection often is higher than usual because more WBCs are being produced or are entering the bloodstream to battle the infection. After the body has been challenged by some infections, lymphocytes "remember" how to make the specific antibodies that will quickly attack the same germ if it enters the body again.

Platelets

Platelets (also called thrombocytes) are tiny oval-shaped cells made in the bone marrow. They help in the clotting process. When a blood vessel breaks, platelets gather in the area and help seal off the leak. Platelets survive only about 9 days in the bloodstream and are constantly being replaced by new cells.

Important proteins called clotting factors are critical to the clotting process. Although platelets alone can plug small blood vessel leaks and temporarily stop or slow bleeding, the action of clotting factors is needed to produce a strong, stable clot.

Platelets and clotting factors work together to form solid lumps to seal leaks, wounds, cuts, and scratches and to prevent bleeding inside and on the surfaces of our bodies. The process of clotting is like a puzzle with interlocking parts. When the last part is in place, the clot happens — but if even one piece is missing, the final pieces can't come together.
When large blood vessels are severed (or cut), the body may not be able to repair itself through clotting alone. In these cases, dressings or stitches are used to help control bleeding.

Nutrients in the Blood

Blood contains other important substances, such as nutrients from food that has been processed by the digestive system. Blood also carries hormones released by the endocrine glands and carries them to the body parts that need them.

Blood is essential for good health because the body depends on a steady supply of fuel and oxygen to reach its billions of cells. Even the heart couldn't survive without blood flowing through the vessels that bring nourishment to its muscular walls.

Blood also carries carbon dioxide and other waste materials to the lungs, kidneys, and digestive system to be removed from the body. Blood cells and some of the special proteins blood contains can be replaced or supplemented by giving a person blood from someone else via a transfusion. In addition to receiving whole-blood transfusions, people can also receive transfusions of a particular component of blood, such as platelets, RBCs, or a clotting factor. When someone donates blood, the whole blood can be separated into its different parts to be used in this way.

Diseases of Red Blood Cells

Most of the time, blood functions without problems, but sometimes, blood disorders or diseases can cause illness. Diseases of the blood that commonly affect kids can involve any or all of the three types of blood cells. Other types of blood diseases affect the proteins and chemicals in the plasma that are responsible for clotting.

The most common condition affecting RBCs is anemia, a lower-than-normal number of red cells in the blood. Anemia is accompanied by a decrease in the amount of hemoglobin. The symptoms of anemia — such as pale skin, weakness, a fast heart rate, and poor growth in infants and children — happen because of the blood's reduced capacity for carrying oxygen.
Anemia typically is caused by either inadequate RBC production or unusually rapid RBC destruction. In severe cases of chronic anemia, or when a large amount of blood is lost, someone may need a transfusion of RBCs or whole blood.

Anemia resulting from inadequate RBC production. Conditions that can cause a reduced production of red blood cells include:

Iron deficiency anemia. The most common type of anemia, it affects kids and teens of any age who have a diet low in iron or who've lost a lot of RBCs (and the iron they contain) through bleeding. Premature babies, infants with poor nutrition, menstruating teenage girls, and those with ongoing blood loss due to illnesses such as inflammatory bowel disease are especially likely to have iron deficiency anemia.

Lead poisoning. When lead enters the body, most of it goes into RBCs where it can interfere with the production of hemoglobin. This can result in anemia. Lead poisoning can also affect — and sometimes permanently damage — other body tissues, including the brain and nervous system. Although lead poisoning is much less common now, it still is a problem in many larger cities, especially where young children might ingest paint chips or the dust that comes from lead-containing paints peeling off the walls in older buildings.

Anemia due to chronic disease. Kids with chronic diseases (such as cancer or human immunodeficiency virus infection) often develop anemia as a complication of their illness.

Anemia due to kidney disease. The kidneys produce erythropoietin, a hormone that stimulates production of red cells in the bone marrow. Kidney disease can interfere with the production of this hormone.

Anemia resulting from unusually rapid red blood cell destruction. When RBCs are destroyed more quickly than normal by disease (a process called hemolysis), the bone marrow will make up for it by increasing production of new red cells to take their place. But if RBCs are destroyed faster than they can be replaced, a person will develop anemia.

Several causes of increased red blood cell destruction can affect kids:

G6PD deficiency. G6PD is an enzyme that helps to protect red blood cells from the destructive effects of certain chemicals found in foods and medications. When the enzyme is deficient, these chemicals can cause red cells to hemolyze, or burst. G6PD deficiency is a common hereditary disease among people of African, Mediterranean, and Southeast Asian descent.

Hereditary spherocytosis is an inherited condition in which RBCs are misshapen (like tiny spheres, instead of disks) and especially fragile because of a genetic problem with a protein in the structure of the red blood cell. This fragility causes the cells to be easily destroyed.

Autoimmune hemolytic anemia. Sometimes — because of disease or for no known reason — the body's immune system mistakenly attacks and destroys RBCs.
Sickle cell anemia, most common in people of African descent, is a hereditary disease that results in the production of abnormal hemoglobin. The RBCs become sickle shaped, they cannot carry oxygen adequately, and they are easily destroyed. The sickle-shaped blood cells also tend to abnormally stick together, causing obstruction of blood vessels. This blockage in the blood vessels can seriously damage organs and cause bouts of severe pain.

Diseases of the White Blood Cells

Neutropenia occurs when there aren't enough of a certain type of white blood cell to protect the body against bacterial infections. People who take certain chemotherapy drugs to treat cancer may develop neutropenia.

Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is a virus that attacks certain types of WBCs (lymphocytes) that work to fight infection. Infection with the virus can result in AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome), leaving the body prone to infections and certain other diseases. Newborns can become infected with the virus from their infected mothers while in the uterus, during birth, or from breastfeeding, although HIV infection of the fetus and newborn is usually preventable with proper medical treatment of the mother during pregnancy and delivery. Teens and adults can get HIV from sex with an infected person or from sharing contaminated needles used for injecting drugs or tattoo ink.

Leukemias are cancers of the cells that produce WBCs. These cancers include acute myeloid leukemia (AML), chronic myeloid leukemia (CML), acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL), and chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL). The most common types of leukemia affecting kids are ALL and AML. In the past 25 years, scientists have made great advances in treating several types of childhood leukemia, most notably certain types of ALL.

Diseases of Platelets

Thrombocytopenia, or a lower than normal number of platelets, is usually diagnosed because a person has abnormal bruising or bleeding. Thrombocytopenia can happen when someone takes certain drugs or develops infections or leukemia or when the body uses up too many platelets. Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP) is a condition in which the immune system attacks and destroys platelets.

Diseases of the Clotting System

The body's clotting system depends on platelets as well as many clotting factors and other blood components. If a hereditary defect affects any of these components, a person can have a bleeding disorder. Common bleeding disorders include:

Hemophilia, an inherited condition that almost exclusively affects boys, involves a lack of particular clotting factors in the blood. People with severe hemophilia are at risk for excessive bleeding and bruising after dental work, surgery, and trauma. They may experience episodes of life-threatening internal bleeding, even if they haven't been injured.

Von Willebrand disease, the most common hereditary bleeding disorder, also involves a clotting-factor deficiency. It affects both males and females.

Other causes of clotting problems include chronic liver disease (clotting factors are produced in the liver) and vitamin K deficiency (the vitamin is necessary for the production of certain clotting factors).

"I pray that this article empowers you to Get A L.I.F.E."

Friday, January 7, 2011

9 Steps to Parenting

Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you may feel the least prepared.

Here are nine child-rearing tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent — and enjoy your kids more, too.

1. Nurture Your Child's Self-Est
eem

Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.

Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like "What a stupid thing to do!" or "You act more like a baby than your little brother!" cause damage just as physical blows do. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.

2. Catch Kids B
eing Good

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find that yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?

The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: "You made your bed without being asked — that's terrific!" or "I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient." These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scoldings.

Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are "growing" more of the behavior you would like to see.

3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With
Your Discipline

Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.

Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.

You might want to have a system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through with the consequences. You can't discipline kids for talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.

4.
Make Time for Your Kids

It's often difficult for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can eat breakfast with your child, or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Kids who aren't getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they're sure to be noticed that way.

Many parents find it rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a "special night" each week to be together and let your kids help decide how to spend your time. Look for other ways to connect — put a note or something special in your kid's lunchbox.

Adolescents seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger children. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.

Don't feel guilty if you're a working parent. It is the many little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.

5. Be a Good Role Model

Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be constantly aware that you're being observed by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.

Model the traits you wish to cultivate in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.

6. Make Communication a Priority

You can't expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so." They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.

Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.

7. Be Flexib
le and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style

If you frequently feel "let down" by your child's behavior, it may be because you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in "shoulds" (for example, "My kid should be potty-trained by now") may find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists.

Kids' environments have an impact on their behavior, so you may be able to modify that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your 2-year-old, look for ways to restructure your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.

As your child changes, you'll gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are what works with your child now won't work as well in a year or two.

Teenagers tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!

8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional

As a parent, you're responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it. When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.


9. Be Aware of Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent

Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities — "I am loving and dedicated." Vow to work on your weaknesses — "I need to be more consistent with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You don't have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself.

And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple).

Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.