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Anxiety is a fact of life. Being part of our psychological makeup, this response is automatic when we are faced with situations threatening our sense of well-being. We can influence our response if we have sufficient awareness and discipline to counter its unhealthy effects.
Allowing anxiety to dominate our thoughts can result in stress and depression. Little do we know that most of the fears we cater are unfounded; our minds have taken the habit of conjuring a scenario wherein feared situations arise. Left uncontrolled, these fears will be incorporated into our reality, thus stifling our view of the truth. If we are to take control of our anxieties, we must stop feeding our thoughts with negative images. Instead, we should put our focus more on the clear facts surrounding us and deduce therein our real worries and concern. This will then reduce the gravity of our anxiety.
Still the question arises: How can we deal with anxiety?
To be honest, dealing with anxiety is not an easy task. Our makeup makes it hard to resist this automatic brain response. However, through practice and willingness, we can change our approach in dealing with anxiety.
First and foremost, we have to understand the nature of our fears. We need to find where it’s coming from and why are we experiencing such feelings. Without this understanding we cannot affect an appropriate response should anxiety dominate our thoughts. Gaining an understanding of the nature of our anxieties will bring forth clarity on our part. This important factor is the key to alter the influence of fear on our minds. Once we become aware of our anxieties we are able to allow our reason to intervene.
Validating the source of our anxieties will take time, discipline and persistence. Every time anxiety enters our thoughts it is imperative to enforce our intervention through awareness, then make some validations as to the reality of the objects of our anxieties. Once we deduce the truth from fiction we have to eliminate the lies by reprogramming our thinking; though it may be hard at first practice makes perfect.
In my experience I have been challenged by my worries. What I’ve learned though is that the huge percentage of all my worries is nothing more than the illusions of my mind. It took me time to realize how much time and energy I have wasted thinking of my senseless worries. Had I immediately weeded out the facts from lies, I could have made better decisions.
Before you drown yourself of anxieties, consider the following approaches:
•Ask yourself: What am I anxious about? Does my fear have any substance?
•Make an analysis of the situation and separate the real from the unreal.
•Focus on finding solution rather than brooding over worries.
•Use your common sense when dissecting the cause of your anxieties. (Most of us worry over stupid things).
•If senseless anxieties forces its way, counter it by engaging yourself on productive activities.
•Seek help when needed.
We don’t have to punish ourselves over our anxieties. The choice is always ours whether we confine ourselves to our self-made fear or seek understanding about the true nature of our worries. There’s a lot more to life than being anxious.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
5 Ways to Create a Positive Work Environment
We have all worked at places that we were less than excited to get up in the mornings and go to; this is an awful feeling. It is much more pleasurable, and less stressful to go to a work environment that is filled with positivity and enjoyment. A positive work environment is not only important for our physical, mental and emotional health, but is also important for the results that we produce for the company. The better we feel at work, the more likely we will take pride in our job activities and be loyal towards our place of employment.
So let’s look at some ways to create a positive working environment.
1. Accept the right position
The first step to creating a positive work environment is to secure a position that positively suits you. Before you accept a position, you should know what your key skills are; what type of work you want to do, what kind of role you would like, where you see yourself in five years, and what kind of environment you thrive in. Knowing the answers to these questions will help you to recognize those opportunities that meet those criteria, giving you a running start.
2. Be a positive person
Present an attitude of positivity and approachability. Show coworkers that you are available and wiling to help them. Walk around with a smile, and make eye contact with those you pass in the hallways. Be friendly, pleasant and nice. Talk with kindness, encouragement, civility, and respect. Ask questions before making assumptions. Be fun to work with. Listen to others with interest; and finally, don’t complain, whine or gossip.
3. Take responsibility
Take responsibility for the direction of your career. Ultimately you are responsible for creating an environment in which you can learn and grow. The longer you stay on a “dead-end” career path, the harder it will be to stay positive. If you are not happy with the current directions of your career, communicate that to your manager if you wish to stay with the company; otherwise, look for another job that you feel is a better match.
4. Communicate with your manager
Meet with your manager regularly to ensure you are on track for meeting his or her expectations, and your performance goals. Don’t always wait for your manager to reach out to you. Informing your manager about the status of the activities you are performing shows that you are credible, trustworthy, interested in the business, and committed to your job. You may even consider sending a weekly status report indicating what you are working on, what you have completed, and what you have pending.
5. Be social
Interact with your colleagues in a non-working way. Join a company team or group. Bring a few games in that you can play over your lunch break. Celebrate birthdays, and other special events. Cultivate working friendships. Organize a competitive sporting event. Organize a departmental pot luck lunch. There are so many things that you can do to connect with others while at work.
So, if you are wondering what a positive work environment looks like, here are some signs.
• You are doing a job that you enjoy
• Your ideas are valued
• Your creativity is encouraged
• You feel appreciated
• The job matches your skill set
• You have work friends that you can talk to
• Your manager is approachable
• There is room for you to grow
• You are recognized when you do good work
• You feel like a part of a team
• You look forward to coming to work
• You are respected
• You are happy while at work
• Work is fun
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
So let’s look at some ways to create a positive working environment.
1. Accept the right position
The first step to creating a positive work environment is to secure a position that positively suits you. Before you accept a position, you should know what your key skills are; what type of work you want to do, what kind of role you would like, where you see yourself in five years, and what kind of environment you thrive in. Knowing the answers to these questions will help you to recognize those opportunities that meet those criteria, giving you a running start.
2. Be a positive person
Present an attitude of positivity and approachability. Show coworkers that you are available and wiling to help them. Walk around with a smile, and make eye contact with those you pass in the hallways. Be friendly, pleasant and nice. Talk with kindness, encouragement, civility, and respect. Ask questions before making assumptions. Be fun to work with. Listen to others with interest; and finally, don’t complain, whine or gossip.
3. Take responsibility
Take responsibility for the direction of your career. Ultimately you are responsible for creating an environment in which you can learn and grow. The longer you stay on a “dead-end” career path, the harder it will be to stay positive. If you are not happy with the current directions of your career, communicate that to your manager if you wish to stay with the company; otherwise, look for another job that you feel is a better match.
4. Communicate with your manager
Meet with your manager regularly to ensure you are on track for meeting his or her expectations, and your performance goals. Don’t always wait for your manager to reach out to you. Informing your manager about the status of the activities you are performing shows that you are credible, trustworthy, interested in the business, and committed to your job. You may even consider sending a weekly status report indicating what you are working on, what you have completed, and what you have pending.
5. Be social
Interact with your colleagues in a non-working way. Join a company team or group. Bring a few games in that you can play over your lunch break. Celebrate birthdays, and other special events. Cultivate working friendships. Organize a competitive sporting event. Organize a departmental pot luck lunch. There are so many things that you can do to connect with others while at work.
So, if you are wondering what a positive work environment looks like, here are some signs.
• You are doing a job that you enjoy
• Your ideas are valued
• Your creativity is encouraged
• You feel appreciated
• The job matches your skill set
• You have work friends that you can talk to
• Your manager is approachable
• There is room for you to grow
• You are recognized when you do good work
• You feel like a part of a team
• You look forward to coming to work
• You are respected
• You are happy while at work
• Work is fun
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Are You Living Another Person's Life?
I hope not.
How do you want to live your life? What goal do you want to achieve in life? 10 years from now, when you look back, what kind of life will you want to see? Even further, when you look back in your 70s or 80s, what kind of life would you like to see? Will that be a fulfilling life? Or will that be living someone else’s life without ever living yours?
Sadly, many people just live someone else’s life. It means that they live according to what other people say to them or expect of them. Year by year pass and they have no idea where they are going.
When we have clarity about our life, all decisions will be easier to make. We won’t live according to what the trends are or what everyone is doing. We will have firm foundation for every decision we make.
The earlier we get this clarity the better. Why? Because we can never get back the years which have passed. They are gone forever!
Learning about this, I started thinking about my life. I once thought that I may want to pursue an accounting career. Was that really good for me or was I just following the trend? I also thought that after graduating I wanted to work for a big company. But is that what my life should be? Well, I had to re-think those things.
I was afraid that 10 years from now I will look back and see that I have wasted years of my life living someone else’s life.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
How do you want to live your life? What goal do you want to achieve in life? 10 years from now, when you look back, what kind of life will you want to see? Even further, when you look back in your 70s or 80s, what kind of life would you like to see? Will that be a fulfilling life? Or will that be living someone else’s life without ever living yours?
Sadly, many people just live someone else’s life. It means that they live according to what other people say to them or expect of them. Year by year pass and they have no idea where they are going.
When we have clarity about our life, all decisions will be easier to make. We won’t live according to what the trends are or what everyone is doing. We will have firm foundation for every decision we make.
The earlier we get this clarity the better. Why? Because we can never get back the years which have passed. They are gone forever!
Learning about this, I started thinking about my life. I once thought that I may want to pursue an accounting career. Was that really good for me or was I just following the trend? I also thought that after graduating I wanted to work for a big company. But is that what my life should be? Well, I had to re-think those things.
I was afraid that 10 years from now I will look back and see that I have wasted years of my life living someone else’s life.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Monday, September 27, 2010
14 Common Sense Ways to Live a Better Life
You’ve probably noticed that the market is saturated with self-help guides, audio books, and seminars by motivational speakers such as myself. This is simply proof that most people enjoy receiving advice from others.
Here are a few “tips” that I’ve discovered on my own, but most of them are common sense. I think if you do your best to take them to heart, you’ll start to notice a clearer head and a bigger smile on your face.
1. Wake up at a reasonable hour. Everyone’s schedule is different, so if you work the night shift, your “reasonable hour” may be noon, but it’s a good idea to wake up before you have to. Many people have the horrible habit of crawling out of bed ten minutes before they have to be out the door. You have no time to eat, and if anything goes wrong, you’re automatically late. Give yourself some time to gather your thoughts before you start your day.
2. Think of something that you have to look forward to. Once the alarm goes off and the initial confusion of “Ugh, it’s already morning!” has ended, think of something cool that you have going on in your life at the moment. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but it’s pretty helpful … and I’m sure you can think of something. Come on, anything! It can be as simple as, “Oh yeah! It’s Thursday, and that means it’s almost Friday! Weekend, here I come!”
3. Look in the mirror. I’ve seen plenty of people in the movies and on TV shows who look at themselves in the mirror each morning and say things like, “You’re awesome!” or “You can do it!” before they start their day. I know this sounds relatively insane, but it helps—and I speak from experience. If you can’t tell yourself that you’re good at something and actually believe it, why should you believe anyone else who says it?
4. Take a shower and get dressed. This may be a no-brainer, but spending five or ten minutes in the shower will help clear your head and make you feel a whole lot better. Hopefully you can even find clean clothes to wear. (You know, ones that were hanging in the closet as opposed to the ones that are still in the laundry basket on the floor, wrinkled and covered with dust).
5. Scan the news online, read the “real” newspaper for a few minutes, or tune into the news channel on TV for a few minutes. However you get your news is up to you, but it’s a good idea to stay on top of things that are going on in the world, even though lately most of the news makes everyone angry. You shouldn’t be ignorant about issues that may affect you personally, and you’ll want to have firsthand knowledge as to what’s happening in case someone asks you about it later or tries to force their opinions on you as “the truth.”
6. Eat breakfast. Eating breakfast is a biggie that a lot of people skip, (me included) so be sure to eat something. A container of yogurt, a banana, maybe a granola bar as you run out the door … just be sure to eat. You’ll need energy to get through the morning. A cup of coffee is not breakfast—even if it has chocolate syrup in it and whipped cream on top.
7. Make a to-do-list each day. I prefer the night before your day begins. This allows you to start your day already knowing what needs to be done. I am a youth pastor and operate a motivational speaking career, so it’s a huge benefit to know what I have going on each day. Even if you spend your days at the office, you’ll still want to have some kind of agenda to follow. Set up a schedule on your Blackberry or write things down on a legal pad, but do it somehow … or you’ll wind up forgetting something important.
8. Get to work safely. Again, I mainly work from home, but if you drive to work – or ride your bike to work, or take the bus or train – do it safely. This is also why it’s a good idea to wake up relatively early. Rushing leads to speeding and speeding leads to tickets or fender benders … which will make you even later than you were going to be in the first place.
9. Take a deep breath and count to 3 when something starts to bug you. Co-workers, clients, things that aren’t going as smoothly as possible … there are dozens of things that can easily start to drive you nuts at the drop of a hat. You don’t want to wind up getting so frustrated with someone or something that you wind up going postal, so close your eyes and take a deep breath as you mentally count to three before you say something you may regret. Most likely, whatever’s bugging you isn’t as bad as you think it is.
10. Periodically take a break … away from your desk! Be sure to walk away from your desk every few hours. You’ll wind up getting frustrated if you sit there staring at your monitor nonstop, and your eyes will start to hurt. Getting up for five or ten minutes every three or four hours will not blow your entire day, believe me. You also need to take a break and eat lunch. Sitting at your desk with a Snickers bar that you got from the vending machine doesn’t count.
11. Tie up as many loose ends as possible before the work day ends. We all know that some days you’ll wind up working later than expected, but don’t make it a habit or your boss (or you) will start to assume that you really do work twelve hours each day even though you get paid for eight. Get as many things done as possible each day, but try to leave on time. There’s always tomorrow.
12. Eat dinner. I had to stress the importance of eating breakfast and lunch, so of course I’m going to remind you to eat dinner! And if today is one of those days you wind up putting in some overtime, get up from your desk to eat dinner. A carton of Chinese take-out every night of the week will begin to affect your waistline and your mood. Try to eat dinner with other people, if possible. Everyone should have that interaction with family and friends.
13. Enjoy a hobby after work. Whether it’s taking a bike ride or a walk, watching a movie, reading a book, it’s a good idea to have some sort of hobby besides work! Spend an hour or two doing something that you enjoy to help get your mind off of work.
14. Unwind a bit before bed, and get ready to repeat the cycle tomorrow! Whether “unwinding” involves the above-mentioned hobby or something else, take time to chill out for a bit before hitting the sack. This will give you the ability to get a good night’s sleep, wake up, and do it all over again … and if this happens on Friday night, you probably don’t have to go to work tomorrow! Even better!
Yes, some of these fourteen tips might seem a bit common sense. The funny thing is they really work. I guarantee that implementing them into your daily routine will make you feel happier and more excited about the possibilities that each day brings!
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Here are a few “tips” that I’ve discovered on my own, but most of them are common sense. I think if you do your best to take them to heart, you’ll start to notice a clearer head and a bigger smile on your face.
1. Wake up at a reasonable hour. Everyone’s schedule is different, so if you work the night shift, your “reasonable hour” may be noon, but it’s a good idea to wake up before you have to. Many people have the horrible habit of crawling out of bed ten minutes before they have to be out the door. You have no time to eat, and if anything goes wrong, you’re automatically late. Give yourself some time to gather your thoughts before you start your day.
2. Think of something that you have to look forward to. Once the alarm goes off and the initial confusion of “Ugh, it’s already morning!” has ended, think of something cool that you have going on in your life at the moment. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but it’s pretty helpful … and I’m sure you can think of something. Come on, anything! It can be as simple as, “Oh yeah! It’s Thursday, and that means it’s almost Friday! Weekend, here I come!”
3. Look in the mirror. I’ve seen plenty of people in the movies and on TV shows who look at themselves in the mirror each morning and say things like, “You’re awesome!” or “You can do it!” before they start their day. I know this sounds relatively insane, but it helps—and I speak from experience. If you can’t tell yourself that you’re good at something and actually believe it, why should you believe anyone else who says it?
4. Take a shower and get dressed. This may be a no-brainer, but spending five or ten minutes in the shower will help clear your head and make you feel a whole lot better. Hopefully you can even find clean clothes to wear. (You know, ones that were hanging in the closet as opposed to the ones that are still in the laundry basket on the floor, wrinkled and covered with dust).
5. Scan the news online, read the “real” newspaper for a few minutes, or tune into the news channel on TV for a few minutes. However you get your news is up to you, but it’s a good idea to stay on top of things that are going on in the world, even though lately most of the news makes everyone angry. You shouldn’t be ignorant about issues that may affect you personally, and you’ll want to have firsthand knowledge as to what’s happening in case someone asks you about it later or tries to force their opinions on you as “the truth.”
6. Eat breakfast. Eating breakfast is a biggie that a lot of people skip, (me included) so be sure to eat something. A container of yogurt, a banana, maybe a granola bar as you run out the door … just be sure to eat. You’ll need energy to get through the morning. A cup of coffee is not breakfast—even if it has chocolate syrup in it and whipped cream on top.
7. Make a to-do-list each day. I prefer the night before your day begins. This allows you to start your day already knowing what needs to be done. I am a youth pastor and operate a motivational speaking career, so it’s a huge benefit to know what I have going on each day. Even if you spend your days at the office, you’ll still want to have some kind of agenda to follow. Set up a schedule on your Blackberry or write things down on a legal pad, but do it somehow … or you’ll wind up forgetting something important.
8. Get to work safely. Again, I mainly work from home, but if you drive to work – or ride your bike to work, or take the bus or train – do it safely. This is also why it’s a good idea to wake up relatively early. Rushing leads to speeding and speeding leads to tickets or fender benders … which will make you even later than you were going to be in the first place.
9. Take a deep breath and count to 3 when something starts to bug you. Co-workers, clients, things that aren’t going as smoothly as possible … there are dozens of things that can easily start to drive you nuts at the drop of a hat. You don’t want to wind up getting so frustrated with someone or something that you wind up going postal, so close your eyes and take a deep breath as you mentally count to three before you say something you may regret. Most likely, whatever’s bugging you isn’t as bad as you think it is.
10. Periodically take a break … away from your desk! Be sure to walk away from your desk every few hours. You’ll wind up getting frustrated if you sit there staring at your monitor nonstop, and your eyes will start to hurt. Getting up for five or ten minutes every three or four hours will not blow your entire day, believe me. You also need to take a break and eat lunch. Sitting at your desk with a Snickers bar that you got from the vending machine doesn’t count.
11. Tie up as many loose ends as possible before the work day ends. We all know that some days you’ll wind up working later than expected, but don’t make it a habit or your boss (or you) will start to assume that you really do work twelve hours each day even though you get paid for eight. Get as many things done as possible each day, but try to leave on time. There’s always tomorrow.
12. Eat dinner. I had to stress the importance of eating breakfast and lunch, so of course I’m going to remind you to eat dinner! And if today is one of those days you wind up putting in some overtime, get up from your desk to eat dinner. A carton of Chinese take-out every night of the week will begin to affect your waistline and your mood. Try to eat dinner with other people, if possible. Everyone should have that interaction with family and friends.
13. Enjoy a hobby after work. Whether it’s taking a bike ride or a walk, watching a movie, reading a book, it’s a good idea to have some sort of hobby besides work! Spend an hour or two doing something that you enjoy to help get your mind off of work.
14. Unwind a bit before bed, and get ready to repeat the cycle tomorrow! Whether “unwinding” involves the above-mentioned hobby or something else, take time to chill out for a bit before hitting the sack. This will give you the ability to get a good night’s sleep, wake up, and do it all over again … and if this happens on Friday night, you probably don’t have to go to work tomorrow! Even better!
Yes, some of these fourteen tips might seem a bit common sense. The funny thing is they really work. I guarantee that implementing them into your daily routine will make you feel happier and more excited about the possibilities that each day brings!
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Giving Up Is Good
Persistence is important to achieve success, but giving up is also important. I’ve written about persistence before, so here I want to look at giving up.
Why is it essential? Why is it necessary to give up? Because it allows you to focus your energy on the few things that are truly important. By giving up, you:
1. Stop unfruitful efforts. What’s the point of spending your time and energy on something that doesn’t work? The more you spend your time and energy there, the more you waste your resources.
2. Avoid spreading yourself too thin. There are probably many things that you want to achieve. But you can’t achieve everything you want. Your resources are limited so you need to choose and prioritize. If you try to do too many things at once you will end up achieving nothing.
3. Reduce your stress. Pursuing too many things means giving yourself unnecessary pressure. Don’t let your ambition stop you from enjoying your life.
4. Free up time for your loved ones. Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time for your loved ones. By giving up, you ease your burden and free up time to build meaningful relationships.
In essence, here is what you need to do:
Give up the less important things so that you can focus and persist on the few important ones.
Here are several tips to help you apply it:
1. Find what matters to you
You need a way to know whether or not something is important. That’s why you need to find what matters to you. What makes you feel fulfilled? What gives you inner satisfaction? Be persistent on things that matter to you and give up the others.
2. Assess your life every now and then
Even if you already find what matters to you, the busyness of life can hinder it. As a result, you might get distracted by superficial things. So find time to reflect on your life every now and then. Look at how your life is going. Are you staying true to what your purpose is saying?
3. Learn to let go
You may know that you need to give up something, but it might not be easy to let it go. This is especially true if you already spend a lot of resources on it.
This is where the concept of spent costs is helpful. Don’t get caught in spent cost land. The fact that you’ve spent your resources on the wrong thing doesn’t justify spending even more resources on it. Those resources are already spent. Now you need to find the best way to spend the resources that are left.
The concept of opportunity costs may also be helpful. Holding on the wrong thing means losing better opportunities. The more resources you spend on it, the more opportunities you lose.
4. Refocus your effort
Once you’ve given up the less important things, renew your focus and effort on the few important ones. Now that you are focused, you have a chance to make a real difference.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Why is it essential? Why is it necessary to give up? Because it allows you to focus your energy on the few things that are truly important. By giving up, you:
1. Stop unfruitful efforts. What’s the point of spending your time and energy on something that doesn’t work? The more you spend your time and energy there, the more you waste your resources.
2. Avoid spreading yourself too thin. There are probably many things that you want to achieve. But you can’t achieve everything you want. Your resources are limited so you need to choose and prioritize. If you try to do too many things at once you will end up achieving nothing.
3. Reduce your stress. Pursuing too many things means giving yourself unnecessary pressure. Don’t let your ambition stop you from enjoying your life.
4. Free up time for your loved ones. Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time for your loved ones. By giving up, you ease your burden and free up time to build meaningful relationships.
In essence, here is what you need to do:
Give up the less important things so that you can focus and persist on the few important ones.
Here are several tips to help you apply it:
1. Find what matters to you
You need a way to know whether or not something is important. That’s why you need to find what matters to you. What makes you feel fulfilled? What gives you inner satisfaction? Be persistent on things that matter to you and give up the others.
2. Assess your life every now and then
Even if you already find what matters to you, the busyness of life can hinder it. As a result, you might get distracted by superficial things. So find time to reflect on your life every now and then. Look at how your life is going. Are you staying true to what your purpose is saying?
3. Learn to let go
You may know that you need to give up something, but it might not be easy to let it go. This is especially true if you already spend a lot of resources on it.
This is where the concept of spent costs is helpful. Don’t get caught in spent cost land. The fact that you’ve spent your resources on the wrong thing doesn’t justify spending even more resources on it. Those resources are already spent. Now you need to find the best way to spend the resources that are left.
The concept of opportunity costs may also be helpful. Holding on the wrong thing means losing better opportunities. The more resources you spend on it, the more opportunities you lose.
4. Refocus your effort
Once you’ve given up the less important things, renew your focus and effort on the few important ones. Now that you are focused, you have a chance to make a real difference.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
15 Nuggets to Fire Up Inspiration
The journey to success is long, and inspiration is the fuel that sustain you. It is the fire that lights you up and keeps you moving forward in the face of difficulties. It lifts you up when the situation looks dark, and it energizes you when you are tired.
No matter what happens, ignite your inspiration and keep the fire burning. Here are 15 nuggets to do that:
1. Find a cause that fires you up
You can only have long-lasting inspiration if you have a fire that burns within you. Without it, all your efforts to ignite inspiration will only give you short-term results.
So find a cause that you really care about, something that you are willing to put your heart and soul for. If you find it, you will have a strong source of inspiration that can sustain you for long term. I believe everyone has such fire, so find yours.
2. Dream a vision
If you have found the cause that fires you up, you should have a clear vision of how the future will be when the cause is fulfilled. Imagine how the life quality of many people will improve. Imagine how this world will become a better place. Can you see how people live at that time? Can you see the smiles on their faces? The more detail you can dream the future, the more it will energize you. The power of vision that comes from a burning cause is amazing.
3. Talk about your vision
Whenever I share my vision, I feel enthusiastic. Even if I have a bad day, I will soon be energized when I talk about my vision.
So share your vision to others. Let them know about your cause and your dream. Not only will you ignite your inspiration, you will also fire up the people you share it with.
4. Set huge goals
Vision deals with the long term, but you should also have goals for the short term. To be inspiring, the goals should be realistic but challenging. Set huge goals. If the goals are mediocre, they won’t energize you. Only if they are huge can they inspire you and those who hear you.
5. Put your written vision or goals in prominent place
Sometimes the busyness of life can make us forget about our burning cause and vision. That’s why it’s important to always remind ourselves about them. One effective way to do so is by writing them down and put them in prominent place. Put them on your desk, on your desktop wallpaper, or any other place you can easily see.
6. Remember your victories
It is easy to lose inspiration when we face many obstacles along the way. So it is important to remember not just how far we are from our goal but also how far we have walked. Remember your victories and let them remind you of what you can do. You have made a difference in the past, so there is no reason why you can’t make a difference in the future.
7. Create a "power station"
After spending your whole day working and facing difficulties, it will be uplifting to come to a place where you can be recharged. You could create a "power station", a place where you can come and recharge your inspiration. You can use your office space or a room at home, and put motivational posters, pictures of your past victories, pictures of your dreams, or anything else that energize you.
8. Memorize some quotes that resonate with you
Inspiring quotes are good to motivate and encourage you. By memorizing them, you will have them handy whenever you need them. The quotes do not have to be somebody else’s sayings. They can also be the words you get through your own reflections and experiences.
9. Speak out positive words
Rather than thinking about them, speaking out positive words often gives better results. In my experience, this is one of the fastest ways to turn a situation around. By speaking out positive words, you can quickly light the fire in you.
10. Listen to uplifting music
Do you have some songs that you know can energize you? You should put them in your music player, so that whenever you feel weary, you can listen to them and be lifted up.
11. Listen to motivational podcasts / audio program
Similarly, you may have some favorite podcasts or audio program that motivate you. Put them in your music player and listen to them whenever you need it.
12. Put up motivational images
Motivational images can feed you visually with positive input. You can set them as your desktop wallpapers, put them in your room, or place them on your desk.
13. Replace negative thoughts
Whenever negative thoughts start coming to your mind, don’t let them settle. Fight them back with the positive thoughts of your cause, vision, or values. If you leave them, they will take root and quench your fire.
14. Gather with inspirational friends
The truth is, no matter how hard you try, it’s often difficult to maintain inspiration when you are alone. It will be much easier if you gather with some inspirational friends. This way, when you are weary, their fire can ignite yours. In turn, when they are weary, your fire can ignite theirs. This way you will always have fresh fire transferred from your surrounding. The first step to do is to look around and find the people that can potentially do that.
15. Get rid of naysayers
While gathering around inspirational friends can energize you, gathering around naysayers will do the opposite: they will take away whatever positive energy you have. So avoid them at all costs. Of course, sometimes you need to reach out to them, but be sure that you energize them and not they take away your energy. You should always be open to constructive criticism, but avoid people who just make you down without giving constructive feedbacks.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
No matter what happens, ignite your inspiration and keep the fire burning. Here are 15 nuggets to do that:
1. Find a cause that fires you up
You can only have long-lasting inspiration if you have a fire that burns within you. Without it, all your efforts to ignite inspiration will only give you short-term results.
So find a cause that you really care about, something that you are willing to put your heart and soul for. If you find it, you will have a strong source of inspiration that can sustain you for long term. I believe everyone has such fire, so find yours.
2. Dream a vision
If you have found the cause that fires you up, you should have a clear vision of how the future will be when the cause is fulfilled. Imagine how the life quality of many people will improve. Imagine how this world will become a better place. Can you see how people live at that time? Can you see the smiles on their faces? The more detail you can dream the future, the more it will energize you. The power of vision that comes from a burning cause is amazing.
3. Talk about your vision
Whenever I share my vision, I feel enthusiastic. Even if I have a bad day, I will soon be energized when I talk about my vision.
So share your vision to others. Let them know about your cause and your dream. Not only will you ignite your inspiration, you will also fire up the people you share it with.
4. Set huge goals
Vision deals with the long term, but you should also have goals for the short term. To be inspiring, the goals should be realistic but challenging. Set huge goals. If the goals are mediocre, they won’t energize you. Only if they are huge can they inspire you and those who hear you.
5. Put your written vision or goals in prominent place
Sometimes the busyness of life can make us forget about our burning cause and vision. That’s why it’s important to always remind ourselves about them. One effective way to do so is by writing them down and put them in prominent place. Put them on your desk, on your desktop wallpaper, or any other place you can easily see.
6. Remember your victories
It is easy to lose inspiration when we face many obstacles along the way. So it is important to remember not just how far we are from our goal but also how far we have walked. Remember your victories and let them remind you of what you can do. You have made a difference in the past, so there is no reason why you can’t make a difference in the future.
7. Create a "power station"
After spending your whole day working and facing difficulties, it will be uplifting to come to a place where you can be recharged. You could create a "power station", a place where you can come and recharge your inspiration. You can use your office space or a room at home, and put motivational posters, pictures of your past victories, pictures of your dreams, or anything else that energize you.
8. Memorize some quotes that resonate with you
Inspiring quotes are good to motivate and encourage you. By memorizing them, you will have them handy whenever you need them. The quotes do not have to be somebody else’s sayings. They can also be the words you get through your own reflections and experiences.
9. Speak out positive words
Rather than thinking about them, speaking out positive words often gives better results. In my experience, this is one of the fastest ways to turn a situation around. By speaking out positive words, you can quickly light the fire in you.
10. Listen to uplifting music
Do you have some songs that you know can energize you? You should put them in your music player, so that whenever you feel weary, you can listen to them and be lifted up.
11. Listen to motivational podcasts / audio program
Similarly, you may have some favorite podcasts or audio program that motivate you. Put them in your music player and listen to them whenever you need it.
12. Put up motivational images
Motivational images can feed you visually with positive input. You can set them as your desktop wallpapers, put them in your room, or place them on your desk.
13. Replace negative thoughts
Whenever negative thoughts start coming to your mind, don’t let them settle. Fight them back with the positive thoughts of your cause, vision, or values. If you leave them, they will take root and quench your fire.
14. Gather with inspirational friends
The truth is, no matter how hard you try, it’s often difficult to maintain inspiration when you are alone. It will be much easier if you gather with some inspirational friends. This way, when you are weary, their fire can ignite yours. In turn, when they are weary, your fire can ignite theirs. This way you will always have fresh fire transferred from your surrounding. The first step to do is to look around and find the people that can potentially do that.
15. Get rid of naysayers
While gathering around inspirational friends can energize you, gathering around naysayers will do the opposite: they will take away whatever positive energy you have. So avoid them at all costs. Of course, sometimes you need to reach out to them, but be sure that you energize them and not they take away your energy. You should always be open to constructive criticism, but avoid people who just make you down without giving constructive feedbacks.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
How To Recharge Your Life
There’s an interesting talk at by Stefan Sagmeister titled The Power of Time Off. In the talk, Sagmeister shared his experience of how he takes one full year off every seven years to recharge his creative life. During the sabbatical year, he closes his design company and doesn’t accept any design request. It might seem strange to take one full year for sabbatical, but he argued that it gives him more than what it costs.
There are at least three things he gets from his sabbatical years:
1. He gets fresh ideas for his creative work. Referring to one sabbatical year of his, he said that all the ideas in the following seven years came out from that one year.
2. It benefits him financially. Though he didn’t accept any request for one year, the improved quality of his work allowed him to ask for higher prices in the following years. He could eventually make more money than what he lost.
3. It made his work a calling again. This is my favorite of the three. In the talk, Sagmeister talked about three levels of work: job (when you do your work just for money), career (when you pursue advancement and promotion), and calling (when you do your work simply because it’s fulfilling). Even if your work is something you love to do, the daily routine could make it a job. Sagmeister said that taking a sabbatical year makes his work a calling again.
As you can see, these three things solve three common problems that many people have at work:
• Lack of creative ideas.
• Lack of financial improvement.
• Lack of purpose and fulfillment. This one affects not just your work, but also your life in general.
If you had any of these problems, here is a simple way to recharge your life: take time off. Of course, it doesn’t have to be one full year since most people (including me) can’t afford it without any serious consequences. But taking even short periods of time off is useful. Here’s what I suggest you to do:
1. Take time off every day. You should set aside time in your day where you can be away from your routine. Cut your communication with the outside world for a while. Use the time to get a sense of clarity of your life and work. Reconnect with your life purpose and look at the big picture of your life. Are you on the right track? Are you doing the right things? You can do this by meditating, praying, walking in the garden, or any way you like. The important thing is that you to reflect on your life with a clear mind. You don’t have to spend much time on it. Half an hour is enough, in my experience. Doing this helps you live your daily life with clarity.
2. Take a few days off every now and then. During that time, try not to do your routine that might introduce noise into your life. For me that means not connecting to the Internet. Though it’s not necessary, going out of town could be helpful. I can attest from personal experience that such time is really rewarding. I often see my life and work from a new perspective. I can see the forest rather than the trees. This, of course, will happen only if you spend time to reflect on your life and work.
It reminds me of the story of two woodcutters. One of them sawed down the trees all the time without ever sharpening his saw. The other person spent time to sharpen his saw and only then did he saw down the trees. Which one do you think would cut more trees at the end?
Don’t let the busyness of your life lead you to the wrong direction. Allocate time to reconnect with your purpose and calling. Allocate time to see the big picture of your life. Taking time off helps you stay sharp.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
There are at least three things he gets from his sabbatical years:
1. He gets fresh ideas for his creative work. Referring to one sabbatical year of his, he said that all the ideas in the following seven years came out from that one year.
2. It benefits him financially. Though he didn’t accept any request for one year, the improved quality of his work allowed him to ask for higher prices in the following years. He could eventually make more money than what he lost.
3. It made his work a calling again. This is my favorite of the three. In the talk, Sagmeister talked about three levels of work: job (when you do your work just for money), career (when you pursue advancement and promotion), and calling (when you do your work simply because it’s fulfilling). Even if your work is something you love to do, the daily routine could make it a job. Sagmeister said that taking a sabbatical year makes his work a calling again.
As you can see, these three things solve three common problems that many people have at work:
• Lack of creative ideas.
• Lack of financial improvement.
• Lack of purpose and fulfillment. This one affects not just your work, but also your life in general.
If you had any of these problems, here is a simple way to recharge your life: take time off. Of course, it doesn’t have to be one full year since most people (including me) can’t afford it without any serious consequences. But taking even short periods of time off is useful. Here’s what I suggest you to do:
1. Take time off every day. You should set aside time in your day where you can be away from your routine. Cut your communication with the outside world for a while. Use the time to get a sense of clarity of your life and work. Reconnect with your life purpose and look at the big picture of your life. Are you on the right track? Are you doing the right things? You can do this by meditating, praying, walking in the garden, or any way you like. The important thing is that you to reflect on your life with a clear mind. You don’t have to spend much time on it. Half an hour is enough, in my experience. Doing this helps you live your daily life with clarity.
2. Take a few days off every now and then. During that time, try not to do your routine that might introduce noise into your life. For me that means not connecting to the Internet. Though it’s not necessary, going out of town could be helpful. I can attest from personal experience that such time is really rewarding. I often see my life and work from a new perspective. I can see the forest rather than the trees. This, of course, will happen only if you spend time to reflect on your life and work.
It reminds me of the story of two woodcutters. One of them sawed down the trees all the time without ever sharpening his saw. The other person spent time to sharpen his saw and only then did he saw down the trees. Which one do you think would cut more trees at the end?
Don’t let the busyness of your life lead you to the wrong direction. Allocate time to reconnect with your purpose and calling. Allocate time to see the big picture of your life. Taking time off helps you stay sharp.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Monday, September 20, 2010
How to Handle Negative Feedback
Have you ever received negative feedback before? Say, a friend or family member complaining about you. A boss or colleague critiquing your work. A partner or a spouse unhappy with something you did.
I run The Get A L.I.F.E. Show Video Blog. Every day, I receive feedback about the shows I do. While most of them are positive, there is the occasional negative feedback every now and then.
Admittedly, negative feedback can be tough to deal with sometimes. It’s much more encouraging to be receiving compliments than disagreements, because the former positively affirms that we’re on the right track, while the latter suggests we are doing something wrong. After years of dealing with feedback whether in school, work, or now running my own blog and business, I’ve become accustomed to getting negative feedback, but even then there’s the occasional feedback every now and then that would sting.
Yet, unless we are living in a world where we don’t have to interact with anyone, receiving negative feedback is part of our everyday life. People will always have different opinions, and they are entitled to hold their opinions and say what they want to say. The question then isn’t on how we can avoid negative feedback, but to learn to roll and deal with them. If you can learn to handle negative feedback effectively, it will be a crucial skill that will help us in our journey of growth.
Here are my personal 6 steps on how to deal with such feedback.
1. Pause first; Don’t react.
When receiving negative feedback, it’s natural to want to defend yourself immediately. Has there been a time when you received a negative criticism, and your first instinct is to say: “No, this isn’t true..” “You’re wrong..” “No, that’s because…“?
However, no matter how negative the comment was, you have a choice in your reaction. Reacting defensively tells more about you as a person than about the comment itself. Remaining calm and composed helps you deal with the feedback better. If you feel riled up, give yourself some time to cool down first before engaging further.
Whenever I get a negative feedback, I rarely ever respond immediately. If it’s a real-time conversation, I would always pause for a few seconds to process the feedback in my mind. If it’s a delayed communication, such as over email or a comment at my blog, I’ll leave it there for a couple of days while I let it sit in my mind. I found that when I read the same piece of feedback at different times, it conjures up different thoughts and emotions. Hence, referring back to the feedback at different times and studying the feelings help me to put things into context. Sometimes we may interpret a comment in a wrong manner and looking it at another time helps us to consider from a different perspective.
2. Understand what the person’s concerns are
Every feedback, whether negative or positive, comes from somewhere. Something you said or did made the person react this way. You can choose to ignore the feedback, but then you’ll never know what was it that triggered the person. This means there’s a possibility of this issue recurring in the future.
Use active listening and understand where he/she is coming from. Some questions to ask yourself include:
• What is he/she concerned about? What are the key issues?
• Why is he/she reacting this way?
• What did you do/say that triggered him/her?
Write down these answers so you can evaluate them in step 3.
Sometimes, the person giving the feedback may not be aware of the real areas of concern. He/she might just be saying ‘I don’t think this is done well’ or ‘I don’t like how you are doing this’, without supporting reasons. This doesn’t mean you should dismiss the feedback, because something did trigger it. It’s up to you to probe the person and discover what the actual reasons are.
I found a tip that really helps in understanding his/her concerns is to put yourself in the person’s shoes. Imagine you as the person and think about how he/she felt. This will make it easier to understand why he/she commented that way. Whenever I do that, it instantly becomes clear why the person said the things he/she said, and helped me to understand his/her concerns.
3. Assess if the feedback is true.
Evaluate the feedback objectively. Do you agree on the feedback? Is there any truth behind it, and would this be an alternate perspective you missed out originally? Is it something you should look into?
Sometimes it’s hard to maintain an objective stance, especially since you are right in the middle of this. I found it’s helpful to seek out friends to get alternate opinions. You can ask them: (a) Their overall assessment of the feedback (b) What they think are the areas of concern (c) If they saw any truth behind it. As your friends, they will be more than willing to listen and help evaluate. Besides, each of them will have his/her own unique perspective to add to the plate.
Often times when I get negative feedback, I would talk it over with some of my wife and good friends and process the feedback with them. We would objectively discuss and evaluate the things that could be work on. It becomes kind of like a mini-troubleshooting discussion, and it can be very enlightening. Having these alternative viewpoints helped to maintain the objectivity.
4. Reply to the person in kindness
Since the person took time to share his/her feedback with you, you should take time out to give a proper reply. Generally, I use the following flow for my replies:
• Reiterate his/her concerns, and confirm this with him/her so both of you are on the same page
• Let him/her know your point of view, whether you agree/disagree, along with supporting reasons why
• Create a open space for discussion
• Align/agree on the conclusions/next steps to move forward. Sometimes it’s possible that there can’t be an agreement met, and if that’s the case it’s about agreeing to disagree
• Thank him/her for sharing.
5. Recognize receiving negative feedback is a positive thing
Ultimately, I see negative feedback as positive, because it shows there are people who want you to become better. If the person didn’t care at all, he/she wouldn’t even have provided the feedback, would he/she?
Negative feedback also tells us our opportunities for growth. No matter where we are in life, all of us will have blind spots we don’t know about. These blind spots prevent us from reaching the next stage of growth. While negative feedback may not be pleasant to receive, they give us a different perspective to consider. By learning from more different perspectives, we can grow much faster.
If I look back, the times when I learned and grew the most were when I received negative feedback, not when I received positive feedback. How would things be if everyone around you simply praised and complimented you all the time? It would be nice at the beginning, but after a while you become oblivious on how you can improve. This doesn’t mean positive feedback doesn’t play a role – it helps to encourage and inspire us. Negative feedback has its own role to play too. It is when I receive criticisms about my work that I become more aware of things I was blind to before and how I can better improve next time. Especially when the negative feedback triggers some sort of emotional response, I know that means it has struck some chord inside me, and I would look inside to understand what’s making me feel that way. Often times that helps to trigger a new breakthrough in my personal growth, which I then proceed to share with my blog audience, which benefits many more people.
6. Learn from the feedback.
There’s always something to learn from every feedback. Ask yourself:
• What have I learned about myself?
• What have I learned about others?
• How can I improve? What can I do differently from now on?
Your learning can either be about the feedback, how you dealt with the feedback, or both. Whenever I get a negative feedback, I would process it and think about what I can learn from. I could ignore it, but then that means nothing came out of the experience. So far, I have learned new from almost every negative feedback I have received. Add this up over time, and that’s a lot of new things I have learned. No doubt, these have been critical in my personal journey of growth.
Conclusion
I hope my personal tips and learnings will be helpful to you in dealing with negative feedback. It may not be easy to handle negative feedback – but if you learn the art of dealing with it, it’ll go a long way in personal growth.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
I run The Get A L.I.F.E. Show Video Blog. Every day, I receive feedback about the shows I do. While most of them are positive, there is the occasional negative feedback every now and then.
Admittedly, negative feedback can be tough to deal with sometimes. It’s much more encouraging to be receiving compliments than disagreements, because the former positively affirms that we’re on the right track, while the latter suggests we are doing something wrong. After years of dealing with feedback whether in school, work, or now running my own blog and business, I’ve become accustomed to getting negative feedback, but even then there’s the occasional feedback every now and then that would sting.
Yet, unless we are living in a world where we don’t have to interact with anyone, receiving negative feedback is part of our everyday life. People will always have different opinions, and they are entitled to hold their opinions and say what they want to say. The question then isn’t on how we can avoid negative feedback, but to learn to roll and deal with them. If you can learn to handle negative feedback effectively, it will be a crucial skill that will help us in our journey of growth.
Here are my personal 6 steps on how to deal with such feedback.
1. Pause first; Don’t react.
When receiving negative feedback, it’s natural to want to defend yourself immediately. Has there been a time when you received a negative criticism, and your first instinct is to say: “No, this isn’t true..” “You’re wrong..” “No, that’s because…“?
However, no matter how negative the comment was, you have a choice in your reaction. Reacting defensively tells more about you as a person than about the comment itself. Remaining calm and composed helps you deal with the feedback better. If you feel riled up, give yourself some time to cool down first before engaging further.
Whenever I get a negative feedback, I rarely ever respond immediately. If it’s a real-time conversation, I would always pause for a few seconds to process the feedback in my mind. If it’s a delayed communication, such as over email or a comment at my blog, I’ll leave it there for a couple of days while I let it sit in my mind. I found that when I read the same piece of feedback at different times, it conjures up different thoughts and emotions. Hence, referring back to the feedback at different times and studying the feelings help me to put things into context. Sometimes we may interpret a comment in a wrong manner and looking it at another time helps us to consider from a different perspective.
2. Understand what the person’s concerns are
Every feedback, whether negative or positive, comes from somewhere. Something you said or did made the person react this way. You can choose to ignore the feedback, but then you’ll never know what was it that triggered the person. This means there’s a possibility of this issue recurring in the future.
Use active listening and understand where he/she is coming from. Some questions to ask yourself include:
• What is he/she concerned about? What are the key issues?
• Why is he/she reacting this way?
• What did you do/say that triggered him/her?
Write down these answers so you can evaluate them in step 3.
Sometimes, the person giving the feedback may not be aware of the real areas of concern. He/she might just be saying ‘I don’t think this is done well’ or ‘I don’t like how you are doing this’, without supporting reasons. This doesn’t mean you should dismiss the feedback, because something did trigger it. It’s up to you to probe the person and discover what the actual reasons are.
I found a tip that really helps in understanding his/her concerns is to put yourself in the person’s shoes. Imagine you as the person and think about how he/she felt. This will make it easier to understand why he/she commented that way. Whenever I do that, it instantly becomes clear why the person said the things he/she said, and helped me to understand his/her concerns.
3. Assess if the feedback is true.
Evaluate the feedback objectively. Do you agree on the feedback? Is there any truth behind it, and would this be an alternate perspective you missed out originally? Is it something you should look into?
Sometimes it’s hard to maintain an objective stance, especially since you are right in the middle of this. I found it’s helpful to seek out friends to get alternate opinions. You can ask them: (a) Their overall assessment of the feedback (b) What they think are the areas of concern (c) If they saw any truth behind it. As your friends, they will be more than willing to listen and help evaluate. Besides, each of them will have his/her own unique perspective to add to the plate.
Often times when I get negative feedback, I would talk it over with some of my wife and good friends and process the feedback with them. We would objectively discuss and evaluate the things that could be work on. It becomes kind of like a mini-troubleshooting discussion, and it can be very enlightening. Having these alternative viewpoints helped to maintain the objectivity.
4. Reply to the person in kindness
Since the person took time to share his/her feedback with you, you should take time out to give a proper reply. Generally, I use the following flow for my replies:
• Reiterate his/her concerns, and confirm this with him/her so both of you are on the same page
• Let him/her know your point of view, whether you agree/disagree, along with supporting reasons why
• Create a open space for discussion
• Align/agree on the conclusions/next steps to move forward. Sometimes it’s possible that there can’t be an agreement met, and if that’s the case it’s about agreeing to disagree
• Thank him/her for sharing.
5. Recognize receiving negative feedback is a positive thing
Ultimately, I see negative feedback as positive, because it shows there are people who want you to become better. If the person didn’t care at all, he/she wouldn’t even have provided the feedback, would he/she?
Negative feedback also tells us our opportunities for growth. No matter where we are in life, all of us will have blind spots we don’t know about. These blind spots prevent us from reaching the next stage of growth. While negative feedback may not be pleasant to receive, they give us a different perspective to consider. By learning from more different perspectives, we can grow much faster.
If I look back, the times when I learned and grew the most were when I received negative feedback, not when I received positive feedback. How would things be if everyone around you simply praised and complimented you all the time? It would be nice at the beginning, but after a while you become oblivious on how you can improve. This doesn’t mean positive feedback doesn’t play a role – it helps to encourage and inspire us. Negative feedback has its own role to play too. It is when I receive criticisms about my work that I become more aware of things I was blind to before and how I can better improve next time. Especially when the negative feedback triggers some sort of emotional response, I know that means it has struck some chord inside me, and I would look inside to understand what’s making me feel that way. Often times that helps to trigger a new breakthrough in my personal growth, which I then proceed to share with my blog audience, which benefits many more people.
6. Learn from the feedback.
There’s always something to learn from every feedback. Ask yourself:
• What have I learned about myself?
• What have I learned about others?
• How can I improve? What can I do differently from now on?
Your learning can either be about the feedback, how you dealt with the feedback, or both. Whenever I get a negative feedback, I would process it and think about what I can learn from. I could ignore it, but then that means nothing came out of the experience. So far, I have learned new from almost every negative feedback I have received. Add this up over time, and that’s a lot of new things I have learned. No doubt, these have been critical in my personal journey of growth.
Conclusion
I hope my personal tips and learnings will be helpful to you in dealing with negative feedback. It may not be easy to handle negative feedback – but if you learn the art of dealing with it, it’ll go a long way in personal growth.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Steps for Making a Good First Impression
There is no denying the importance of making a good first impression. Regardless of the relationship – personal or professional – getting off on the right foot cannot be overemphasized. Knowing this is one thing, being able to do it is quite another. Even when I try my best, it seems as though various wardrobe malfunctions, something in my hair or the ever present toothpaste stain are always against me.
Wouldn’t it be great if we actually got to know someone before we judged them – but like it or not, the world doesn’t always work that way. Making sure that we put our best foot forward with our hair combed, zippers up, and our teeth brushed can only help. But to me, the real keys to making good first impressions lie a little deeper.
1. Get to Know the Real You
First and foremost, being able to make a good impression starts by knowing who you are. Who you really are, not who you think you have to be for the right job, the right school or the right person. I am sure that this seemingly simple, common sense idea is not exactly rocket science to most, but for most people, figuring this out takes time. For a large part of most people’s lives, they spend far too much time and energy trying to say or do the perfect thing in an attempt to impress the “right” crowd. Have you ever stopped to ask the question, is this really who I am? Or even, is this really what I want? The shift happened for me when I was 11 years of age, and thankfully I had great parents who taught me who I was, or maybe it was just not having enough energy to worry about what people thought all the time. Regardless of what caused it, I am grateful that I have finally reached a point in my life where I can appreciate my strengths, be okay with my weaknesses and try to improve on everything in between.
2. Don’t Try to Be Something You’re Not
This only happens when you do not recognize who you are. Instead of focusing on your purpose, or that which you were born to do, people choose to spend their entire life trying to fit into a pair of shoes that do not fit. This comes from the root of an overwhelming desire to be accepted! There are giftings and talents that each of us were born and equipped with, but the tools that we’ve been handed were customized and crafted especially for you. You cannot take your surgeon’s tools to the auto shop and fix a car with them. The moment that you are comfortable with operating in your own skin, the quicker success will fall on you. It is difficult enough becoming successful without the burden of doing it with another person’s car, and your keys!
3. Be Honest With Yourself
These are outstanding points if I do say so myself, however this information would be rendered useless without the ability to be honest with yourself. I have yet to meet the person who has a challenge with admitting all of the wonderful attributes, skills, and talents about themselves. It is our weak areas that we have disstain for. It is the vulnerable position of displaying to others are obvious and not so obvious caviots of inferiority. Honesty allows us to accurately assess our limitations to work on improvement, tighten up are strengths, and provide and atmosphere of contentment for the areas of our lives that you may have to accept.
4. Relax and Be Yourself
The best way to handle the stress and worry of “what will people think” is to do what you do best – and that’s being you. Many of you work incredibly hard trying to be what you think other people want you to be, what people would think was cool or good or perfect. Whenever I find myself in those situations, I focus on relaxing and being myself. Personally, I would rather be judged as the real me than someone else I was trying to be. I can’t cut grass, I do not tolerate lazy people. I would rather take a bullet than spend time with certain family members, and I am okay with that. At least now I know that regardless of what happens, as long as I am true to myself, things will work out for the best.
Worrying about making good first impressions is fairly universal. As I have started getting a little more comfortable with me, I have found it much easier to avoid situations where I know I am destined for failure. More and more, I spend most of my time just trying to be open and honest, so I can find situations where the real me fits in. Trying to be true to myself – knowing who I really am and what I really want – has helped me make much more positive first impressions.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Wouldn’t it be great if we actually got to know someone before we judged them – but like it or not, the world doesn’t always work that way. Making sure that we put our best foot forward with our hair combed, zippers up, and our teeth brushed can only help. But to me, the real keys to making good first impressions lie a little deeper.
1. Get to Know the Real You
First and foremost, being able to make a good impression starts by knowing who you are. Who you really are, not who you think you have to be for the right job, the right school or the right person. I am sure that this seemingly simple, common sense idea is not exactly rocket science to most, but for most people, figuring this out takes time. For a large part of most people’s lives, they spend far too much time and energy trying to say or do the perfect thing in an attempt to impress the “right” crowd. Have you ever stopped to ask the question, is this really who I am? Or even, is this really what I want? The shift happened for me when I was 11 years of age, and thankfully I had great parents who taught me who I was, or maybe it was just not having enough energy to worry about what people thought all the time. Regardless of what caused it, I am grateful that I have finally reached a point in my life where I can appreciate my strengths, be okay with my weaknesses and try to improve on everything in between.
2. Don’t Try to Be Something You’re Not
This only happens when you do not recognize who you are. Instead of focusing on your purpose, or that which you were born to do, people choose to spend their entire life trying to fit into a pair of shoes that do not fit. This comes from the root of an overwhelming desire to be accepted! There are giftings and talents that each of us were born and equipped with, but the tools that we’ve been handed were customized and crafted especially for you. You cannot take your surgeon’s tools to the auto shop and fix a car with them. The moment that you are comfortable with operating in your own skin, the quicker success will fall on you. It is difficult enough becoming successful without the burden of doing it with another person’s car, and your keys!
3. Be Honest With Yourself
These are outstanding points if I do say so myself, however this information would be rendered useless without the ability to be honest with yourself. I have yet to meet the person who has a challenge with admitting all of the wonderful attributes, skills, and talents about themselves. It is our weak areas that we have disstain for. It is the vulnerable position of displaying to others are obvious and not so obvious caviots of inferiority. Honesty allows us to accurately assess our limitations to work on improvement, tighten up are strengths, and provide and atmosphere of contentment for the areas of our lives that you may have to accept.
4. Relax and Be Yourself
The best way to handle the stress and worry of “what will people think” is to do what you do best – and that’s being you. Many of you work incredibly hard trying to be what you think other people want you to be, what people would think was cool or good or perfect. Whenever I find myself in those situations, I focus on relaxing and being myself. Personally, I would rather be judged as the real me than someone else I was trying to be. I can’t cut grass, I do not tolerate lazy people. I would rather take a bullet than spend time with certain family members, and I am okay with that. At least now I know that regardless of what happens, as long as I am true to myself, things will work out for the best.
Worrying about making good first impressions is fairly universal. As I have started getting a little more comfortable with me, I have found it much easier to avoid situations where I know I am destined for failure. More and more, I spend most of my time just trying to be open and honest, so I can find situations where the real me fits in. Trying to be true to myself – knowing who I really am and what I really want – has helped me make much more positive first impressions.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Friday, September 17, 2010
Dealing With Difficult People
We all meet ‘difficult’ people. ‘Difficult’ is a subjective term, of course: very few people are considered to be ‘difficult’ by everyone. But from our perspective, we will seem to connect well with some people and less well with others. From time to time, we are bound to come across people we find very difficult to get along with: people we find inflexible, unwilling to think in new ways, or to see things from our point of view.
When trying to deal with difficult people, it is helpful to be aware of a number of mistakes we might make and how to correct them.
Mistake: Assuming we are right
It is natural to believe we are right. Of course, we all think we are doing the right thing. People will justify their actions in all kinds of ways, and they might even come to believe that their past actions were wrong, but they will never admit that their intentions were less than correct at the time.
Alternative approach: seek first to understand
One of Stephen Covey’s famous ‘habits’ is seek first to understand and then be understood. This simply means trying genuinely to understand the other person’s perspective. What is motivating this person? Why is she behaving like this? We are often so ready to defend or push our own position that we don’t stop to think about other perspectives. Doing so can teach us a lot. Maybe we are wrong; maybe there is something we have not considered.
Sometimes, people we find difficult can reveal uncomfortable but important things about ourselves. ‘Difficult’ people can be our best teachers, if we have the humility and open mindedness to be taught. In any case, understanding another person puts us in a much better position when it comes to dealing with the situation. We are more informed and any action we take is likely to be more effective.
Mistake: Having unrealistic expectations
William Glasser’s famous Choice theory is built around the core premise that it is impossible to change another person in any way. Even if you held a gun to someone’s head, they would not be compelled to do as you wished. We are all free to choose our own behavior, and this freedom implies that other people cannot be controlled. Of course, many people allow themselves to be influenced, and even manipulated, by others, but this is itself a choice to give away autonomy to some extent. It is unrealistic to expect other people to dance to our tune. We can use coercion – if we have the power – to influence people, but this will be temporary and limited in effect.
Alternative approach: focusing on what we can change
Steven Covey’s first ‘habit’ is be proactive. This means focusing on what we can change. Covey calls this our ‘circle of influence,’ and this is where we should expend most of our energies. There is another, bigger, circle – the ‘circle of concern’ – containing things we have some interest in, but most of this is beyond our ability to influence. Other people are like the weather – predictable to some extent, but impossible to control. They may be in our ‘circle of concern,’ but they are well outside our ‘circle of influence.’
It is far better to focus on what we can change – ourselves. By shifting our perspective or adapting to the other person’s behavior, we are more likely to achieve success. An old college professor of mine often used water as an analogy – if flowing water comes across an obstacle, it doesn’t try to move the object but goes around instead. Better find an alternative route – this is the essence of being proactive. It is important to say that the very idea of ‘dealing with difficult people’ is a bit misconceived. It’s not the ‘difficult people’ we need to deal with, but our own approach.
Mistake: Trying to win an argument
Don’t bother trying to bring someone around to your point of view by the force of an argument. People are not generally rational, and will not respond well to such logical, intellectual approaches. It might be possible to win an argument – if you have a superior ability to use logic or if you are more articulate or forceful in the way you express yourself, for example – but the other party will not thank you for beating them in such a way. In fact, winning an argument like this is more likely to make matters worse. Nobody wants to be beaten and to feel (intellectually) inferior.
Alternative approach: changing by example
When Khrushchev was making a speech denouncing the crimes of Stalin, a heckler shouted out ‘why didn’t you speak up when Stalin was still in power?’ Khrushchev shouted back at the crowd, ‘Who said that?’ Nobody replied, and so Khrushchev simply said, ‘Now you know why.’ A demonstration is much more effective than an argument. When dealing with a difficult person, don’t try to convince with argument – language is slippery and logic is not stable. Action will usually achieve far better results.
People used to say that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Being open minded, being flexible and not taking yourself and others too seriously are important attitudes in all areas of life, and no more so than when dealing with difficult people. A wise man once wrote, ‘Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it’ (Lao Tzu).
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
When trying to deal with difficult people, it is helpful to be aware of a number of mistakes we might make and how to correct them.
Mistake: Assuming we are right
It is natural to believe we are right. Of course, we all think we are doing the right thing. People will justify their actions in all kinds of ways, and they might even come to believe that their past actions were wrong, but they will never admit that their intentions were less than correct at the time.
Alternative approach: seek first to understand
One of Stephen Covey’s famous ‘habits’ is seek first to understand and then be understood. This simply means trying genuinely to understand the other person’s perspective. What is motivating this person? Why is she behaving like this? We are often so ready to defend or push our own position that we don’t stop to think about other perspectives. Doing so can teach us a lot. Maybe we are wrong; maybe there is something we have not considered.
Sometimes, people we find difficult can reveal uncomfortable but important things about ourselves. ‘Difficult’ people can be our best teachers, if we have the humility and open mindedness to be taught. In any case, understanding another person puts us in a much better position when it comes to dealing with the situation. We are more informed and any action we take is likely to be more effective.
Mistake: Having unrealistic expectations
William Glasser’s famous Choice theory is built around the core premise that it is impossible to change another person in any way. Even if you held a gun to someone’s head, they would not be compelled to do as you wished. We are all free to choose our own behavior, and this freedom implies that other people cannot be controlled. Of course, many people allow themselves to be influenced, and even manipulated, by others, but this is itself a choice to give away autonomy to some extent. It is unrealistic to expect other people to dance to our tune. We can use coercion – if we have the power – to influence people, but this will be temporary and limited in effect.
Alternative approach: focusing on what we can change
Steven Covey’s first ‘habit’ is be proactive. This means focusing on what we can change. Covey calls this our ‘circle of influence,’ and this is where we should expend most of our energies. There is another, bigger, circle – the ‘circle of concern’ – containing things we have some interest in, but most of this is beyond our ability to influence. Other people are like the weather – predictable to some extent, but impossible to control. They may be in our ‘circle of concern,’ but they are well outside our ‘circle of influence.’
It is far better to focus on what we can change – ourselves. By shifting our perspective or adapting to the other person’s behavior, we are more likely to achieve success. An old college professor of mine often used water as an analogy – if flowing water comes across an obstacle, it doesn’t try to move the object but goes around instead. Better find an alternative route – this is the essence of being proactive. It is important to say that the very idea of ‘dealing with difficult people’ is a bit misconceived. It’s not the ‘difficult people’ we need to deal with, but our own approach.
Mistake: Trying to win an argument
Don’t bother trying to bring someone around to your point of view by the force of an argument. People are not generally rational, and will not respond well to such logical, intellectual approaches. It might be possible to win an argument – if you have a superior ability to use logic or if you are more articulate or forceful in the way you express yourself, for example – but the other party will not thank you for beating them in such a way. In fact, winning an argument like this is more likely to make matters worse. Nobody wants to be beaten and to feel (intellectually) inferior.
Alternative approach: changing by example
When Khrushchev was making a speech denouncing the crimes of Stalin, a heckler shouted out ‘why didn’t you speak up when Stalin was still in power?’ Khrushchev shouted back at the crowd, ‘Who said that?’ Nobody replied, and so Khrushchev simply said, ‘Now you know why.’ A demonstration is much more effective than an argument. When dealing with a difficult person, don’t try to convince with argument – language is slippery and logic is not stable. Action will usually achieve far better results.
People used to say that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Being open minded, being flexible and not taking yourself and others too seriously are important attitudes in all areas of life, and no more so than when dealing with difficult people. A wise man once wrote, ‘Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it’ (Lao Tzu).
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Thursday, September 16, 2010
How to Make Someone Feel Good
Making someone feel good is a matter of being sensitive to one’s needs. Many pursue the common approach of knowing what the other wants in order to bring them happiness, but the truth however is that we don’t need to know what they want. Instead, we should be observant to the subtleties of their aspirations.
There are ways to know the things that can make someone feel good. But the first thing we need to do is to let go our own definition of feeling good. Let us always remember that people are different, what makes happiness for one may not be for the other. An effective method to know what can make someone feel good is to be sensitive to their concerns. If we truly care about knowing what would constitute happiness to a person it is wise to open our awareness to the things they treasure.
Still, we don’t have to look far to know what brings good feelings to a person. More often than not, a simple display of genuine concern is sufficient to brighten someone’s life.
Here are some of the simple yet effective ways of making someone feel good:
1. A simple touch of affection
Extending happiness can be as simple as a touch of affection. Have you felt what it’s like to be in the loving arms of the people you love? Don’t you feel good and assured by the caress of your special someone? I’m sure you do, especially when you are at your most vulnerable. Remember that touch has hidden power, and it’s one of the longings of every person.
2. Be appreciative
If you want to make someone feel good you have to learn to appreciate them more. Give credits to the accomplishments one makes—no matter how little—and give importance to the efforts they’ve made. People need to be appreciated one way or another, and by being generously appreciative, you are sure to extend happiness to someone.
3. Extend a helping hand
Helping someone proves to be the most noble form of bringing good feelings to someone. Nothing brings much greater delight to a person than finding a helping hand to aid him in his moments of need. All of us need a lending hand once in a while and we feel very good when someone gives themselves when we need it the most. Be alert for this opportunity if you want give someone a dose of happiness.
4. Make someone smile
Have you ever wondered why having a sense of humor is a plus factor for a person? Being with a person who is jolly, lighthearted and humorous illuminates our spirit. No matter how our day goes, when we’re in the company of a jovial character, it never fails to make us happy. Make an effort of putting a smile on someone’s face and you’ll never be forgotten.
5. Show kindness
It is said that kindness is the universal language of love. By being kind to someone we are expressing our concern for the other. Kindness makes us realize our connection with others; irrespective of any barriers, any show of kindness portrays an act of love. When someone shows us kindness it lifts our spirits and gives us an unexplainable feeling of gratitude. It makes us happy knowing that someone have made an effort to go out of their way just to extend their grace.
In conclusion, if you want to give the gift of happiness always remember to capitalize on the person’s emotion. Let us put more premiums on appreciating, loving, caring, respecting, and sensitivity to the people whom we want to extend happiness. Stop being deaf and blind to the obvious needs of others, learn to let go of yourself to clearly see the manifestation of someone’s longing, and from there we can figure out the most memorable gift we can give to make someone FEEL GOOD!
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
There are ways to know the things that can make someone feel good. But the first thing we need to do is to let go our own definition of feeling good. Let us always remember that people are different, what makes happiness for one may not be for the other. An effective method to know what can make someone feel good is to be sensitive to their concerns. If we truly care about knowing what would constitute happiness to a person it is wise to open our awareness to the things they treasure.
Still, we don’t have to look far to know what brings good feelings to a person. More often than not, a simple display of genuine concern is sufficient to brighten someone’s life.
Here are some of the simple yet effective ways of making someone feel good:
1. A simple touch of affection
Extending happiness can be as simple as a touch of affection. Have you felt what it’s like to be in the loving arms of the people you love? Don’t you feel good and assured by the caress of your special someone? I’m sure you do, especially when you are at your most vulnerable. Remember that touch has hidden power, and it’s one of the longings of every person.
2. Be appreciative
If you want to make someone feel good you have to learn to appreciate them more. Give credits to the accomplishments one makes—no matter how little—and give importance to the efforts they’ve made. People need to be appreciated one way or another, and by being generously appreciative, you are sure to extend happiness to someone.
3. Extend a helping hand
Helping someone proves to be the most noble form of bringing good feelings to someone. Nothing brings much greater delight to a person than finding a helping hand to aid him in his moments of need. All of us need a lending hand once in a while and we feel very good when someone gives themselves when we need it the most. Be alert for this opportunity if you want give someone a dose of happiness.
4. Make someone smile
Have you ever wondered why having a sense of humor is a plus factor for a person? Being with a person who is jolly, lighthearted and humorous illuminates our spirit. No matter how our day goes, when we’re in the company of a jovial character, it never fails to make us happy. Make an effort of putting a smile on someone’s face and you’ll never be forgotten.
5. Show kindness
It is said that kindness is the universal language of love. By being kind to someone we are expressing our concern for the other. Kindness makes us realize our connection with others; irrespective of any barriers, any show of kindness portrays an act of love. When someone shows us kindness it lifts our spirits and gives us an unexplainable feeling of gratitude. It makes us happy knowing that someone have made an effort to go out of their way just to extend their grace.
In conclusion, if you want to give the gift of happiness always remember to capitalize on the person’s emotion. Let us put more premiums on appreciating, loving, caring, respecting, and sensitivity to the people whom we want to extend happiness. Stop being deaf and blind to the obvious needs of others, learn to let go of yourself to clearly see the manifestation of someone’s longing, and from there we can figure out the most memorable gift we can give to make someone FEEL GOOD!
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Power of Hitting Rock Bottom
Tony Robbins once said there are two things that motivate people to make dramatic changes in their lives: inspiration and desperation. As crazy as it might sound, there is actually tremendous power in hitting rock bottom or a low-point in your life. The last couple of years has been one of the dramatic positive changes for me because I overcame some tremendous challenges:
• I lost my house
• I lost my car
• My wife had major surgery
I had no choice, but to start making some major changes in my life. I was at a personal low point. The great thing however was there was nowhere to go but up. My motivational speaking career served as a great personal development tool to make changes in my life and continues to do so today:
• I have a promising career ahead of me
• I’m more financially responsible than I’ve ever been
• I have a great network of contacts/supporters
Let’s look at how you can use the power of hitting rock bottom to your advantage.
How To Take Advantage of Hitting Rock Bottom
• Re-frame the Situation: The first thing you will need to do if you have hit rock bottom is re-frame the situation. The key is viewing your current situation as an opportunity to take your life to a level far beyond where you are at today. I am actually starting to realize that my failures are actually just a part of the path to success.
• Nothing to Lose: The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that you truly have nothing to lose. When you hear stories of homeless people spending their time in libraries and filling their minds with knowledge to eventually become millionaires, it makes you realize that you have tremendous power to change your life if you can just tap into it. The beauty of having nothing to lose is that it gives you the power to be completely detached from outcomes, one of the biggest things that gets in the way of accomplishing goals.
• Big Risks/Big Goals: With absolutely nothing to lose, you are in the in perfect position to take big risks and set big goals. When you are not at rock bottom you can actually get caught in the trap of your comfort zone. When you are at a low point, then you have a tendency to really push the envelope of what’s possible. Many bloggers have been forced into the situation they are in (me included) because of other circumstances. The bi-product is that we now live a life that is far better than what we had originally imagined.
If you are at a low point in your life, I encourage you to give some thought to why this could be a defining moment that completely changes the trajectory of your life. If you’re asking yourself “why am I in this situation, this sucks?”, then you are setting yourself up for failure. You’re going to need to shift your focus and ask yourself the question “How can I use this opportunity to take my life to the next level?”. If you do that you’ll find that dramatic positive change is inevitable.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
• I lost my house
• I lost my car
• My wife had major surgery
I had no choice, but to start making some major changes in my life. I was at a personal low point. The great thing however was there was nowhere to go but up. My motivational speaking career served as a great personal development tool to make changes in my life and continues to do so today:
• I have a promising career ahead of me
• I’m more financially responsible than I’ve ever been
• I have a great network of contacts/supporters
Let’s look at how you can use the power of hitting rock bottom to your advantage.
How To Take Advantage of Hitting Rock Bottom
• Re-frame the Situation: The first thing you will need to do if you have hit rock bottom is re-frame the situation. The key is viewing your current situation as an opportunity to take your life to a level far beyond where you are at today. I am actually starting to realize that my failures are actually just a part of the path to success.
• Nothing to Lose: The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that you truly have nothing to lose. When you hear stories of homeless people spending their time in libraries and filling their minds with knowledge to eventually become millionaires, it makes you realize that you have tremendous power to change your life if you can just tap into it. The beauty of having nothing to lose is that it gives you the power to be completely detached from outcomes, one of the biggest things that gets in the way of accomplishing goals.
• Big Risks/Big Goals: With absolutely nothing to lose, you are in the in perfect position to take big risks and set big goals. When you are not at rock bottom you can actually get caught in the trap of your comfort zone. When you are at a low point, then you have a tendency to really push the envelope of what’s possible. Many bloggers have been forced into the situation they are in (me included) because of other circumstances. The bi-product is that we now live a life that is far better than what we had originally imagined.
If you are at a low point in your life, I encourage you to give some thought to why this could be a defining moment that completely changes the trajectory of your life. If you’re asking yourself “why am I in this situation, this sucks?”, then you are setting yourself up for failure. You’re going to need to shift your focus and ask yourself the question “How can I use this opportunity to take my life to the next level?”. If you do that you’ll find that dramatic positive change is inevitable.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Manage Your Time Effectively Through Thinking Time and Doing Time
To use your time in a day effectively, I think it’s a good idea to divide your time into two parts: thinking time and doing time.
Thinking time is the time for you to plan your day. Now I prefer to actually plan the night before, but sometimes that doesn't work. You spend this time thinking about how you should spend your day. Here you should consider all your priorities, and then choose the activities which will be the most impactful for you.
Due to its planning nature which affect the whole day, obviously thinking time should be put early in the morning in the beginning of your day. If you do your planning well here, by the time your thinking time ends you should have had a clear picture about how you would spend your whole day.
At this point, it’s time to move to the next step: doing time. This is the time for you to execute the things that you have planned. At this part of time, you should focus only on doing. Thinking should no longer be part of this time. Why ? Because of what I find in my own days: after the plan is ready, usually the time I use to think is just an excuse for procrastinating. Since I don’t feel like doing, I procrastinate under the label of “thinking”.
Realizing this, I now try to spend my doing time only for doing. Whenever I check myself, I try to find myself working out my to-do list items instead of just thinking about them.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be flexible. You should give room for flexibility. There are times when something happens in the midst of the day which requires you to alter your plan. At such points, you need to think about how you would alter your plan. Just treat is as another thinking time. Think and plan well. But after that, go back to doing time and focus only on doing.
So, think in the thinking time and do (and only do) in the doing time. If you do this, you may be surprised by how many things you can accomplish in your day.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Thinking time is the time for you to plan your day. Now I prefer to actually plan the night before, but sometimes that doesn't work. You spend this time thinking about how you should spend your day. Here you should consider all your priorities, and then choose the activities which will be the most impactful for you.
Due to its planning nature which affect the whole day, obviously thinking time should be put early in the morning in the beginning of your day. If you do your planning well here, by the time your thinking time ends you should have had a clear picture about how you would spend your whole day.
At this point, it’s time to move to the next step: doing time. This is the time for you to execute the things that you have planned. At this part of time, you should focus only on doing. Thinking should no longer be part of this time. Why ? Because of what I find in my own days: after the plan is ready, usually the time I use to think is just an excuse for procrastinating. Since I don’t feel like doing, I procrastinate under the label of “thinking”.
Realizing this, I now try to spend my doing time only for doing. Whenever I check myself, I try to find myself working out my to-do list items instead of just thinking about them.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be flexible. You should give room for flexibility. There are times when something happens in the midst of the day which requires you to alter your plan. At such points, you need to think about how you would alter your plan. Just treat is as another thinking time. Think and plan well. But after that, go back to doing time and focus only on doing.
So, think in the thinking time and do (and only do) in the doing time. If you do this, you may be surprised by how many things you can accomplish in your day.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Monday, September 13, 2010
23 Practical Things You Can Do to Make Your Life More Fulfilling
How can we live a more fulfilling life? While there are things we can do which are more long-term in nature, here I’d like to focus on practical things which we can do today.
Human needs can be classified into eight levels in the Maslow hierarchy. The eight levels from the lowest to the highest are physical, security, belonging, esteem, learning, aesthetic, self-actualization, and transcendence. The lower levels comprise of basic needs which are essential to live. But to live a fulfilling life, I believe that the key is on the higher levels.
The more your needs at the higher levels are met, the more fulfilling your life will be.
Money for example, mainly meets your need at the physical or at most esteem level. No wonder money alone can never give you a fulfilling life. There are many people who do not have a lot of money but whose life is more fulfilling than those who have.
As you can see, the two highest levels are self-actualization (realizing our own potential, self-fulfillment, peak experiences) and transcendence (helping others realize their potential). By doing things that meet your needs at these two levels, you will have a more fulfilling life.
So here are 23 practical things you can do to make your life more fulfilling:
1. Think about this question: If you have only six months left to live, what would you do not to regret your life? The answer to this question reveals your deepest value and priorities.
2. From your answer in #1, think of a personal statement for your life purpose. Though you won’t be able to make a final statement in just one day, at least you can come up with a draft.
3. Write some specific goals of what you want to achieve regarding your personal statement in #2.
4. Take the first step to act upon your goals in #3. Even a simple thing will do. As the saying says: “The journey of one thousand miles begins with the first step”.
5. Browse the web or ask your friends to find a charity in a cause you care about.
6. Donate to the charity.
7. When you meet your spouse, family, or friends, praise them.
8. Stop thinking too much about how to have more money.
9. Start seeing yourself as a giver rather than receiver.
10. Listen emphatically to someone.
11. Smile to others.
12. Stop yourself whenever you are about to complain.
13. Give words of comfort to a friend who need them.
14. Send a “happy birthday” message to someone.
15. Give a special thank you to someone who really matter to you.
16. Be punctual.
17. Create a simple life map to see how far you’ve walked in life.
18. Call or – even better – visit an old friend.
19. Share your experiences in your job to someone who need it.
20. List your passions and think of ways to nurture them.
21. Prepare a gift for someone.
22. Take a personality test to know more about yourself.
23. Keep your promises.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Human needs can be classified into eight levels in the Maslow hierarchy. The eight levels from the lowest to the highest are physical, security, belonging, esteem, learning, aesthetic, self-actualization, and transcendence. The lower levels comprise of basic needs which are essential to live. But to live a fulfilling life, I believe that the key is on the higher levels.
The more your needs at the higher levels are met, the more fulfilling your life will be.
Money for example, mainly meets your need at the physical or at most esteem level. No wonder money alone can never give you a fulfilling life. There are many people who do not have a lot of money but whose life is more fulfilling than those who have.
As you can see, the two highest levels are self-actualization (realizing our own potential, self-fulfillment, peak experiences) and transcendence (helping others realize their potential). By doing things that meet your needs at these two levels, you will have a more fulfilling life.
So here are 23 practical things you can do to make your life more fulfilling:
1. Think about this question: If you have only six months left to live, what would you do not to regret your life? The answer to this question reveals your deepest value and priorities.
2. From your answer in #1, think of a personal statement for your life purpose. Though you won’t be able to make a final statement in just one day, at least you can come up with a draft.
3. Write some specific goals of what you want to achieve regarding your personal statement in #2.
4. Take the first step to act upon your goals in #3. Even a simple thing will do. As the saying says: “The journey of one thousand miles begins with the first step”.
5. Browse the web or ask your friends to find a charity in a cause you care about.
6. Donate to the charity.
7. When you meet your spouse, family, or friends, praise them.
8. Stop thinking too much about how to have more money.
9. Start seeing yourself as a giver rather than receiver.
10. Listen emphatically to someone.
11. Smile to others.
12. Stop yourself whenever you are about to complain.
13. Give words of comfort to a friend who need them.
14. Send a “happy birthday” message to someone.
15. Give a special thank you to someone who really matter to you.
16. Be punctual.
17. Create a simple life map to see how far you’ve walked in life.
18. Call or – even better – visit an old friend.
19. Share your experiences in your job to someone who need it.
20. List your passions and think of ways to nurture them.
21. Prepare a gift for someone.
22. Take a personality test to know more about yourself.
23. Keep your promises.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
5 Reasons Why Doing What You Love Can Optimize Your Life
Everybody wants to have an optimized life. In fact, there are hundreds of books, seminars, and trainings devoted to this topic. Nevertheless, there is actually one simple thing you can do to optimize your life: do what you love. Sounds simple, right? Yet doing what you love can really maximize many aspects of your life. A lot of good things will naturally happen in your career, family, and relationship.
How can that be? Here are five reasons why doing what you love can optimize your life:
1. You will enjoy your time
Since you are doing what you love, you won’t feel burdened doing it. You will have fun and happy time. You will be happier than before. This thing alone is a great reward of doing what you love. Who doesn’t want to have a joyful day?
2. You will yield higher-quantity of works
Since you enjoy your time doing your works, naturally you will devote more time and energy into it. There is no such thing as “lazy” or “not in a good mood of doing it”. As such, you will accomplish more and become more productive.
3. You will deliver higher-quality works
Not just the quantity is higher, the quality will also be higher. Again, because you really like it, you will pour more of your time and energy into it. That allows you to think more about your works, thinking about how to make them better and better. As a result, the quality of your works will be improved.
4. Your works will have touches of passion
This the the key difference between good works and great works. Works which are done with passion are very different to those which aren’t. People who consume them can tell the difference. Works which are done with passion not only have higher-quality, but also have emotional value attached in them. It will flow out of the works and touch the heart of the people using them.
5. You will have a fulfilling life
This is probably the most important reason of all. Since you follow your heart, you will have a fulfilling life. You follow what your heart tell you, and you follow your purpose. That’s how you have a fulfilling life. In my opinion, having a fulfilling life is more – even much more – important than just being wealthy. Following your heart and following your purpose. That’s what life is all about.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
How can that be? Here are five reasons why doing what you love can optimize your life:
1. You will enjoy your time
Since you are doing what you love, you won’t feel burdened doing it. You will have fun and happy time. You will be happier than before. This thing alone is a great reward of doing what you love. Who doesn’t want to have a joyful day?
2. You will yield higher-quantity of works
Since you enjoy your time doing your works, naturally you will devote more time and energy into it. There is no such thing as “lazy” or “not in a good mood of doing it”. As such, you will accomplish more and become more productive.
3. You will deliver higher-quality works
Not just the quantity is higher, the quality will also be higher. Again, because you really like it, you will pour more of your time and energy into it. That allows you to think more about your works, thinking about how to make them better and better. As a result, the quality of your works will be improved.
4. Your works will have touches of passion
This the the key difference between good works and great works. Works which are done with passion are very different to those which aren’t. People who consume them can tell the difference. Works which are done with passion not only have higher-quality, but also have emotional value attached in them. It will flow out of the works and touch the heart of the people using them.
5. You will have a fulfilling life
This is probably the most important reason of all. Since you follow your heart, you will have a fulfilling life. You follow what your heart tell you, and you follow your purpose. That’s how you have a fulfilling life. In my opinion, having a fulfilling life is more – even much more – important than just being wealthy. Following your heart and following your purpose. That’s what life is all about.
I pray that this article empowers you to "Get A L.I.F.E."
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